By Anonymous - 22/01/2015 06:41 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 449
You deserved it 5 535
Love
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Top comments

LunaaBluee 27

If you've begun to call her a 'crazy ******' then maybe you should break up with her now.

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MrSassypants 32

Maybe you shouldn't have told Siri to call you by the name "Sex Machine".

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Comments

3molliver3 16

One word: Run.

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chillandfun 12

And don't look back.

45 3
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Erebus_Terror 12

Into your arms?

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blazingshot147 19

Many years of anime have taught me that running never works, they usually find you. There is no escape!

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MrSassypants 32

Maybe you shouldn't have told Siri to call you by the name "Sex Machine".

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Tthug 34

My roommate's iPhone calls him Saigon *****.

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jake_braves 25

My brother's calls him Bilbo Baggins..except he's not short.

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barfcannon 24

Watch out with that because i applied to a million jobs and got no response because my email said it was from Lord Scappin

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mstoock 12

#39 Ohh my god, crap really? I got mine to call me 'Boss Ass Bitch' ....

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emmalouise89 16

wow sorry op she's crazy

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Cupcake040 17

Well whenever do you break up with her put on of those dog trackers on you at all times so your friends and family know what basement shes holding you in.

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Jasim 17

And the award for the Overly Attached Girlfriend of the year goes to...

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HarleyBlues 24

Well, her voice does sound pretty erotic.

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LunaaBluee 27

If you've begun to call her a 'crazy ******' then maybe you should break up with her now.

547 2
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Som3Rand0mGam3r 9

he needs a gun first '-'

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jake_braves 25

7, that's what I was thinking too.

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Brandi_Faith 33

I agree 7, why bother putting it off and holding a crazy person around?

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photographer49 22

#7 But be honest, after hearing that, would you be in a rush to break up with her?

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Iceberg86300 14

Thought the same exact thing. HOPEFULLY the “when I break up with her” means he intends to do swiftly after making his escape plan, which I really hope doesn't include a gun. That's a recipe for spending the rest of your life in jail. Probably 99.9% joking, but hey, this is FML. So some advice for the not so bright bulbs out there: NEVER buy a gun in preparation for a volatile situation when you can avoid physically putting yourself in said situation altogether. However, using this FML as example, if she's a gun nut then by all means go arm yourself, but still stay the hell away from her and use any means except a face to face for the breakup.

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Devindelon 17

Siri is quite the temptress.

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thespiantess 18

OP's girlfriend might have taken the movie "Her" a bit too seriously.

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CaliCassanova 14

You know Siri wants it she's all locked up in that phone, just waiting for you to let her out so she can stretch her legs hahaha

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AnthraxPrincess 18

And spread them, apparently.

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cccook1547 14

On a serious note, I told Siri "**** you" and she said "yes please"

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laden_swallow09 34

"I'm sorry, but I'm not that kind of assistant." "There's no need for that." "Now, now." What iOS version do you have? Either you're a liar, or my game with electronics is shot to hell.

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DA_JUDGE123 21

You need to pull out now man. She sounds like a crazy bitch

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