Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML
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Top comments
flirty19 0
YDI for smoking.
Lizzy86 0
haha! thats hilarious! btw, i smoke menthols too, i like the way they clear my nose.
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Comments (257)
mikaela33194 0
#29 I'm a little unclear how I'm a hypocrite. I just explained the differences between twinkies and beer and cigarettes....And I don't believe I ever mentioned driving a regular exhaust car...
jSOPURE 3
Menthol FTL. :(
abracadabra_fml 0
I love that hobo.
OMGQueenB 0
#28, #24 said he didn't agree with the racist thing, so there's no need to get into it. Smokers don't deserve to die, and you shouldn't laugh when they get cancer. Sure it's their fault if they do get cancer, but it doesn't make it funny. However, this post is HILARIOUS.
betterthanthou 0
The point is that all of your actions have unintended consequences. You might eat too many twinkies, have a heart attack while you are doing something dangerous, and inadvertently kill someone. Let's outlaw all fatty foods because of what might happen! If you don't want to breath someone else's smoke, don't go near them.
LostAndNotFound 0
not an fml. you saved a cigarette.
mikaela33194 0
#36 Sure all our actions have unintended consequences, but the dangers of cigarette smoke or the dangers of eating fatty foods are not unknown consequences. So someone who smokes or eats unhealthy foods or doesn't exercise is taking a risk that they know about and are choosing to still do it, with intent. And you're missing the point. There are smoking laws and high taxes because of the risk it has to others, which isn't the case for fatty foods or beer. And #35, regardless if #24 said he/she didn't support that, he/she still posted it. That's like saying "That's so gay---oh but I don't mean it like that."
cturtle 2
Why don't you f*cking little "ewwww, my mommy says smoking is bad, you evil person!" b*tches shut your mouths. We KNOW it's bad for us. Every single person on this planet knows smoking is bad for them, but the fact is that it's OUR choice, not yours! I'm so tired of you holier than thou pricks. Do I give you sh*t about the $150 dollars you're spending on gas for your SUV every week? Seriously, f*ck off already! The next time one of you assh*les approaches me on the street and tells me how bad smoking is for me, I'm going to shove my lit smoke, and the rest of my pack down your whiny little throats.
olivia2143 0
People that don't smoke cigarettes need to get off their high horses. You don't smoke, fantastic. That doesn't make it necessary to "laugh" at those that contract cancer from smoking. And if you don't want second hand smoke, then don't hang out with smokers, it's really not that hard.
Yuuhi 0
i totally hate menthols...lol but he's an ass so don't worry bout it :)