Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, while out of town, I got a hysterical phone call from my teenage nephew who was pet-sitting at my house. My geriatric dog, who seemed fine when we left, had died during the night. Now my family is mourning the dog and my nephew is traumatized. FML
Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML
Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML
Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML
Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
But, if you ask me, it's not weird if the 15 year old is not home - but it sure is strange if the dog isn't!
tonydizzle 0
father of the year!
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Comments (185)
dirtbiker3325_fml 0
You're being dramatic. Your father probably figures that you'll do fine, but dogs don't have any sense of safety and what not.
Brianaamariee 4
your loved(:
Sharnaaaaa 0
yea well I'm sure he's use to you going out all te time. he probably thought you were at a friends or. something.. and he knows you can take care of yourself. where as a dog can't.
ibeezy92 0
I'm sorry that's ****** up & all but omg lmao that shit is priceless!
mikechek 3
well he can't call or text the dog unfortunately though if he could he probably would
Rabidkid 14
perhaps he thought you were sleeping and wanted to respect your personal space by not breaking down the door like a wild man?
loveEllie27 0
he prolly thought u were at a friends house
pottie69 0
he knows you are responsible ur dog can run away
BrittanyPernell6 0
maybe you should re evaluate how much you think you dad loves you since this has you spazzing and all.....
hazumu_fml 8
family, gotta love them when they fail you on such epic levels. too bad you can't trade family for a better upgraded model.