Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, while out of town, I got a hysterical phone call from my teenage nephew who was pet-sitting at my house. My geriatric dog, who seemed fine when we left, had died during the night. Now my family is mourning the dog and my nephew is traumatized. FML
Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML
Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML
Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML
Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
But, if you ask me, it's not weird if the 15 year old is not home - but it sure is strange if the dog isn't!
tonydizzle 0
father of the year!
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Comments (185)
mhayes119_fml 0
He's more worried about his bitch than his daughter what is the world coming to!!
ironwords 8
how does his wife matter?
purple_laxer847 3
hahahahah
TheCountess 4
I honestly think OP is making this seem worse than it actually is. Fifteen year old girls are constantly going in and out of the house, in between school, friends, extracurriculars, etc. Her dad is probably accustomed to her coming and going as she pleases. The family dog, on the other hand, is always at home, so its unannounced absence might be more cause for concern than the absence of OP.
Tektite 14
Lol he probably wasn't upset about you being gone.. cause in his mind.. you could have went to a friends house and the dog ran away. Dur hurr huuuuurrrr... derp.
dayrin7 4
lmfaooo!!
redbluegreen 41
Something about your comment really irks me.
DocBastard 40
RBG - it's probably the "could have went" part that irks you. It irked me too.
neimato1 0
now you know if an axe murderer comes to your house your dog will be the first thing your father protects
choirnerd9 0
You're fifteen, he probably knows that you can take care of yourself. A dog probably couldn't, though.
Zombie65 0
lmao too funny
fancymega 7
he would probably b mor used to the fact ur gone it's not like the dog can go to the movies wit it's frends
Futacy 30
What a loving father
sgsluder 0
When You Realize The Importance Of Leaving A Note To Say "Hey Dad, I Have The Dog With Me On My Run Today!" OR Using The Simple Common Courtesy Of Picking Up The Phone & Calling Him To Let Him Know It Might Be Too Late! If Your Father Unfortunately Has A Underlying Health Problem You (Maybe Even He) Knew NOTHING About & Because You Don't Think How He's Gonna Feel About Something BEFORE You Do It! It Causes Unneeded Stress On Him, Then He's GONE! I Speak From EXPERIENCE I Lost My Dad Without Warning & I Was A Little Brat Kid The WORLD Revolved Around Me, Then When I Lost Her, I Realized I Wish There Were SO Many Things I Could Have Done Different Instead Of Being The Little Bitch That I Was!! Don't Come On Here Whiny & Sniveling Little Baby!!! Suck It The F&$k Up And Think Of Your Dad!!!