By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 705
You deserved it 3 181

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Dude I feel for you. About the girl and the dog, I have a soft spot for animals, but dont worry kerp ur head up the night is always darkest before the dawn

I agree. He certainly sounds very melancollie, like he stepped in a big mud poodle. Whatever you do, don't collar. She'll probably terrier heart out all over again. And don't go chasing after her trying to retriever; you'd only look more pathetic. I would suggest a little trip to get over her - maybe to Labrador. You can use my travel agent, Jack Russell. He's a boxer on the side, but he's excellent.

Comments

perdix 29

Your dog probably killed himself because your girlfriend dumped you and, by extension, him. That girl really gave him a helluva red rocket.

BBoxall 0

You little ****. This guy had the worst day ever and u just made it worse.

You're ******* disgusting. Let alone you're an ass too

jayAZ 3

Maybe she knew about your dog before you did and that was whole reason for dating ur pathetic ass! buy a cute puppy...maybe she'll take ya back!

maybe you should grow some balls and stop spiking drinks

Dude I feel for you. About the girl and the dog, I have a soft spot for animals, but dont worry kerp ur head up the night is always darkest before the dawn

RedPillSucks 31

Soft spot for animals, hard spot for women.... Or was it the other way around? Where's my viagra?!!!

zebrapattern 6

well how unoriginal of this post.

UpsidedownKayak 9

It looks like you went barking up the wrong tree and got bitten by bad news. Maybe if you had begged your girlfriend a little longer you might have gotten a treat but you were just a bad boyfriend. Now it is time to pound the streets and find another girlfriend, don't sit there like you're tied to a tree.

I agree. He certainly sounds very melancollie, like he stepped in a big mud poodle. Whatever you do, don't collar. She'll probably terrier heart out all over again. And don't go chasing after her trying to retriever; you'd only look more pathetic. I would suggest a little trip to get over her - maybe to Labrador. You can use my travel agent, Jack Russell. He's a boxer on the side, but he's excellent.

Arschloch04 0

Holy shit Doc. That was absolutely beautiful.

Karnezar 2

Dear DocBastard i cant get enough of your comments... i may be developing a crush

tman350 0

that was amazing brought a tear to my eye

Buchitoo 4

#49 so your getting a crush on a guy who would criticize anything nat that he is not funny but he make fun of anything

Your nephew looks a little more buff then you. Thenewguy3 time to go workout some more.

your dog died, get over it. As for the girl, she's cheating on you. ...i'd dig my key into the side of her pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive. jk

Depends.. did you just broke up with your boyfriend out of the blue, then wouldn't listen to his pleads? And did he then call his mother to ask for advice, who told him his dog just died? If you can answer all these questions positively: you're not.

don't be mean she probably hasn't had a BF who didn't just do a one night stand in a while so she's imagining it

Three quarters of the people who comment on this site are seemingly in the middle of a competition to see who can be the least sensitive asshole. Sorry about your dog, and your breakup. Keep your head up.

Wait, isn't that the whole point of the comment section? *rereads FAQ and posting rules* "Please don't post any shocking or hateful comments" WHAT??! I've been doing it wrong this whole time?? Shit!!!

We tried to tell you Doc, but we just didn't want to hurt your feelings :(

UpsidedownKayak 9

So who is winning the competition? *fingers crossed*

Sorry, you're never going to win. It's like the Never Ending Story, except this time, it's true.

On the dog: condolences. On the girl: you pleaded? dude, grow a pair. NO ONE is worth your dignity. Learn to be whole and self-reliant on your own (ie. happy whether you've got a girl or not). Then go find a rebound girl. Only think about a new relationship of any kind AFTER you've accomplished those two goals.

fthku 13

Actually three goals. He needs to grow a pair first.