Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, while out of town, I got a hysterical phone call from my teenage nephew who was pet-sitting at my house. My geriatric dog, who seemed fine when we left, had died during the night. Now my family is mourning the dog and my nephew is traumatized. FML
Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML
Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML
Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML
Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
But, if you ask me, it's not weird if the 15 year old is not home - but it sure is strange if the dog isn't!
tonydizzle 0
father of the year!
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Comments (185)
marinus_fml 20
I would hate it if my dad called me every time he thought I was gone.
purple_laxer847 3
trusttt
Rokx12 0
by the looks of things you can take care of yourself...... it's the mugger's/kidnapper's/rapist's Dads who would have to be worried and leave a load of messages....
Mekeritrig 15
Leave a note next time.
starlitmuse7 0
what he said
Mirorbo 27
Gotta love parents with their priorities in the wrong order
ant1078 7
tell ur dad to put a chip in the dog, and if you want one soo bad, ask him to chip u too! problem solved ?
BobbieH 19
you should be able to handle yourself, the dog shouldn't be gone. it makes complete sense to me!
zachmeach 0
depends are u hot? lol
redbluegreen 41
So if the OP was smoldering her dad should care about her more than the family fuzz ball?
DocBastard 40
Wait, I'm confused. What depends on what now? Your comment makes no sense, and your "lol" should only be there if it had actually been funny.
null_fml 11
Maybe he thinks you're slightly, slightly less likely to run out in the road in front of a car.
loveuforever 0
Makes sense to me. :)
SexyQueen0905 24
Well maybe he knows he can reach you easier than the dog- they can't talk.
kosmickart 0
or text :D
dani212 0
... if you were out on a run with just you and your dog, you should've had your phone with you incase something happened... just sayin...
KatrinaKitten 16
OP was possibly referring to a home phone. As in a landline. Just saying.
FMLollie 7
Why would it be the landline the father would be home to notice the dog missing? and yeah running with a phone is so annoying if you don't have pockets!
redbluegreen 41
Makes you wonder how billions of people have gotten by for centuries without the use of mobile devices.
a_nutritionist 10
they carried guns. swords. spears. bows and arrows...
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
-29 it's a jersey thing (;
Cleao18317 11
what if op didn't have pockets?and if she didn't it's a pain to carry it in your sweaty hand.
GongShowHost 0
Are you an idiot? Why would he panic about his teenage daughter being out of the house? Unless you're less mentally capable than the dog, it's far easier to assume the dog got out and is in danger than you are.