By Anonymous - 02/11/2012 19:46 - Netherlands - Delft

Spicy
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 735
You deserved it 8 412
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

DomDomxoxo 16

That's pretty harsh, at least you tried it out for her. I know some guys who always expect head and don't give anything back...

415 4

Comments

CanyonRose 16

Were you licking her arsehole or something???

4 3
Connect 10

If you use some fingers meanwhile at least shes got something when you can't find her clit. You shouldn't be able to mess that up.

0 10
love_me_electric 20

I don't get how some men can't 'find' the ********. It's in the same spot on every woman, we shouldn't need to draw you guys a map.

18 2
mbuck87 19

Don't get tips from ****, they do it wrong just so the camera can see. Every time I watch with my chick she tells me all about how it wouldn't even feel good haha

14 2
nikkinurse 10

She should give u direction not harsh criticism- that's so mean- if u did that to her while she was giving u head she would have slapped u

10 1
JCxParkour 3

I think that was a bit harsh. First time for both? Or just you? No worries, practice makes perfect, but like everyone else has stated before, pay attention to the body language. But FYL. I don't think the hostility was appropriate.

8 1
DataWog 30

In all fairness, that shit is HARD. The ******** is only about the size of a pea when fully aroused. My boyfriend is actually quite skilled in bed (I was a virgin, he's had more satisfied partners than he can count), and he STILL hasn't given me an ****** after almost 6 months of being physical. And yes, he is more than eager to go down, that is not an issue. Lady, if you can't accept the fact that your genitals are a combination of rubix cube, chinese puzzle box and Where's Waldo, you need a serious wakeup call. Possibly a bitchslap. Only ONCE have I gotten truly frustrated during oral, so much we didn't even get to the main activity, and I was mainly frustrated at my body's own disability to experience pleasure than anything else. Seriously, he'd been at it for at least 20 minutes and I'd come really close 10 times (or at least what felt like it), so when I got really close and then lost it AGAIN I nearly screamed and felt like crying. Buck up, man. Read up, practice, check some anatomy texts if you need some help finding the best spots, and remember to practice the Alphabet ;) If she can't deal with the truth of her own privates, she's better off single with a vibe.

23 3
challan 19

my mother is a sexual advisor for women of all ages. I know more about self stimulation and oral sex then any person ever needs to know. but... Im a happy girl. If you would like some hints, message me, I can't put them out here. Will definitely help your man out.

9 0
morganhchs 5

it's not that complex dude. you just suck at it.

0 12
OhSunshinex3 13

Practice makes perfect.

4 3
delightfultwist 5

what a twat. she could have told u what she wanted.

7 1
Sai_Run614 7

I recomend south park bigger longer and uncut.

1 4