By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Spicy
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks 82 287
You deserved it 9 806

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You sure were hard... Hard to find.

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Its not too bad. First time making out and he almost got a hand job. Who knows what's in store for the second time? (if there even is a second time)

Sounds a little soul crushing. Hopefully next time will go better for you.

Sounds like you've got a little problem there ;-)

That's a Tiny bit of a low blow don't you think?

I agree. Keep your head up OP!

28- I didn't see what you did there for a sec...I must appear to be going soft in the head

It might be hard to tell, but this is getting a little out of hand here... :x

It's a small problem with a hard solution

33- I think it's very safe to say this is not likely to grow into a large issue ;)

i wonder how OP feels knowing the thread of puns making fun of his little guy is now longer than it will ever be.

Hey. Don't make fun of a guy with a tiny penis. Having a tiny penis is like having a disability. You wouldn't make fun of someone in a wheelchair now would you?! Wait a minute.. This is FML, who am I kidding.

33 speaking of hand jokes. Who wants to start this off? Orhando Bloom? Jennifer Handiston?

58- Dr. HANDible Lector

I got to hand it to you guys this thread is a head above the rest. i feel bad OP got shafted but look on the bright side I'm sure other good things will -come- your way, you'll see(men) this through :)

62, Or miss Pamela Handerson.

Handgelina Jolie

Well at least you both had some hands on experience in such a Hard situation.

I thought it would be that band from a few years back. You know, HANDson?

Handoff the grey

I think 105 killed it :/

Do some penis exercises to make it grow more

It's not about how big it is, it's about how you use it ;)

I'm pretty sure the exercises would help with that too ;)

18-- it's ALL about how big it is. Anyone saying it's how you use it is lying.

18- That's what people with small ones say.

It's not the size of the ship or the motion of the ocean, it's whether or not the captain stays in port long enough to get all of the passengers off.

"Looks like a needle, moves like a sewing machine."

Cock push-ups.

Put a sock down there

... And then what?

Get really sweaty, I'm guessing.

Everyone needs a good ol' cock sock.

Well you should've whipped it out and showed her, then proceed to the next base with all the skill and grace of a hard man ;)

Well, its not your fault.

Some times you just can't fight genetics.

Time for the cock pump. But first time making out, skipping bases already, he just should've whipped it out to show her. This kids and their baggy jeans.

You sure were hard... Hard to find.

hahahaha! i was waiting for that comment!

Remind her that "one size fits all".

Or at least it's "one size fits most"!

that sucks. but at least, well there really isn't an at least on this one.