By Anonymous - Netherlands - Delft
  Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML
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Still, it would benefit her to teach him what she likes rather than insult the man trying to please her. Everyone likes different things; communication is key for a satisfying sex life.

  ositoakaluis  |  16

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway


Fish taco? I don't quite understand why everyone thinks women taste like/ smell like fish/fish tacos down there... I sure as hell don't. Going down on a woman, they should faintly taste a little salty but if it's fishy you should tell her to get her shit checked out.

  kyleekay  |  25

1- Agreed. From what I've gathered in my experience, as well as from talking to my friends, most guys don't get it right the first time.

Every woman is different and should be treated as a learning experience; hopefully OP's girl stops acting like a bitch, and helps him out for round two.

  CrewBoy  |  10

70 I have never been with a girl that I would classify as salty. It's way more of a bitter taste almost tonic like metallic taste. And yes most women SMELL a little bit but do not taste like a fish.

  xx1988  |  15

The ph of a normal, healthy vagina is around 4 - slightly acidic and therefore slightly sour-tasting. There may be some sodium in the secretions so the taste may also be slightly salty.

Normal vaginas do not smell like fish unless they have a bacterial infection, which are common and can often be otherwise asymptomatic.

  DataWog  |  29

As an owner of a uterus, I fully acknowledge and accept that my genitals can and will smell like tuna if they so choose.

Fortunately, I am in the habit of taking showers daily and am slightly OCD about my personal hygiene so those situations are rare.

  Laurenlou  |  24

A woman's diet will really effect the way they smell/taste down there.
Red meat makes any body order smell not so pleasant, so that explains why a lot of women slightly have a smell. Fruits and veggies can even that out though!
I've been a vegetarian for 3 years now and I've never smelled at all down there since. (Plus proper washing of course.)

  ryrock310  |  10

92- there is no evidence of that whatsoever. You are drawing a conclusion without anything backing it up.... Also it is uncommon and therefore the odds are not high.

  AKGirlinSD  |  20

I agree but the girlfriend didn't have to be a bitch about it. She should have told him politely that what he was doing wasn't working and she would love to give a few pointers.

  Enslaved  |  36

If you do watch porn to learn how to go down on a girl, at least watch porn that's catered to "women".

A crazy flickering tongue looks good on film but a more controlled, mouth that stays pressed against the body is a much better approach.

  alessiaxxooo  |  3

So he can learn moves by watching some fake tits and drugged up guys with hard ons that last for like an hour? Oh and not to mention hurt the girl?Alrighty then.

By  windfuelsfire  |  10

If you can't identify where the clitoris is, I understand why she reacted, but she has a pretty bad attitude.. I think her mistake is worse than the one you made. Keep your chin up OP, learn well and maybe get to satisfy a girl that doesn't act like a bitch?