Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML
Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
cinnamonbuns69 8
What a dick!
itssosparkly 21
Don't take it to heart. Maybe he and dicks just have more in common.
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Comments (95)
kill_me_now7 2
Well he HAS known him longer
cuddlebunny3548 11
His penis is nicer to him than you are.
SuperDCG123 4
Your boyfriend is an immature ass **** of a human being who needs a handful of pipe cleaners shoved up his ass to scrub out his stupid ******* head
ceegee415 5
Why is he still your boyfriend? Ydi for not dumping him.
HimroV5 2
So that his penis could treat u nicer
beatlegirl27 20
That's disturbing
kei1108 13
Find someone who respects you and isn't an idiot, please.
bubu93_fml 1
you should tell him to go to a psychiatrist to get that checked out
Anutts 4
Start talking to your boobs
leemariex3 0
Ohh goshhhh