Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML
Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
cinnamonbuns69 8
What a dick!
itssosparkly 21
Don't take it to heart. Maybe he and dicks just have more in common.
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Comments (95)
LedBasedPaint 8
Well of course he's nicer to his penis; you're only metaphorically attached to him.
warcom 4
well...he's been friends with his Penis way longer than you've been in his life, maybe you should respect their relationship and understand yours will get there in time