Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML
Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
cinnamonbuns69 8
What a dick!
itssosparkly 21
Don't take it to heart. Maybe he and dicks just have more in common.
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Comments (95)
pagullarka 9
You need to have a conversation with his balls and slap them a couple of times for being rude and talking back to you mean.
perdix 31
Why not? His penis probably gives him hours of pleasure without having to deal with any bitching or nagging. Except when he contracts an STD.
Brownie101abc 7
All of these FML's about bad boyfriends and them doing stupid things. He better be hot if you like a guy that stupid
bubo_fml 11
End the conversation immediately by taking matters into your own hands!
KiddNYC1O 22
Your pussy is dying for a word with his penis.
DespairFaction 11
If I'm going to talk to my penis, you better believe its going to be dirty talk. I don't though because that is a little weird.
Morew8 0
You may want to put in more work in the bedroom
CFish123 1
Give him ******** then he will be nice to you :) my gf knows her place
Living_Fetus13 0
You dont have a penis therefore you just wouldnt understand
1094568 1
A man cannot live without a penis....