Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML
Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
cinnamonbuns69 8
What a dick!
itssosparkly 21
Don't take it to heart. Maybe he and dicks just have more in common.
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Comments (95)
groupleader 7
Try talking to your pussy when he can see/hear you. Just be sure not to echo too much, that is a real turn off to us guys.
I_Punch_Babies 7
op you have to remember that your boyfriend like most guys is kind of attached to his penis.
theevilduchess 12
You chose to be with this guy. It's not like you just realized he is nicer to his man bits than he is to you. So YDI, op.
TwiztedYuri 9
soon talking won't work. that's when you introduce him to viagra
tireddog 3
Well he is kinda more attached to his penis, but still shouldn't be having full conversations with it.
ardencred 7
so when he is mad at his penis does he say "penis talk to the hand!"
destkay 9
He can control his penis better than he can with your boring self. Or why else would he talk to his penis OP
HerrBawl 4
In all fairness, he's had a longer relationship with the little guy than with you.
sidvand 2
Small things amuse small minds!!!
Lisianthus 13
Its either your boring or he's just a little on the slow side.