Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML
Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cinnamonbuns69 8
What a dick!
itssosparkly 21
Don't take it to heart. Maybe he and dicks just have more in common.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
govan1107 1
You need a new boyfriend I'm single and i don't talk to my penis lol
ChickInGreenVans 12
I always thought that was the norm with most guys though:((!!
lifeisgood0812 0
Wow ppl are weird
taviwuzup 0
Ok, OP this is the time where you take all y'all clothes off and give his little friend a whirl! He'll forget all about their play date.
jmedalene 2
Wow that sucks!
lottie333 0
my bf does worse he calls his trunky...
MyWorldAway 0
in his defense hopefully he will always have his penis. No Offense Relationships don't always last. however, if he can't be Nice than maybe that explains why all men should remember LORIANNA BOBBIT
EagleDown77 4
That's when u say u saw your ex boyfriend talkin to his penis
creuter 8
There is nothing wrong with that. Isnt that right mister penis?
AnXiEtYxDrIvEn 1
Of course he is that's a guys prized possession right there!!!