Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the daycare in my area. When this one kid was leaving, he asked his mom, "Why is she so ugly?" FML
Today, at work, I gave ice cream to a kid and apple pie to his dad. The kid decided to grab a literal handful of the dad’s pie which was steaming hot. Cue the kid screaming and the dad yelling at me for not telling his kid that the dessert, that WASN'T HIS, was hot and he shouldn’t touch it. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat licking my face. Cute, right? Turns out, she was licking the crumbs off my cheek from last night's pizza party. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said, "Eww!" The boy then asked, "What's "ew" mean?" I replied, "Something gross and yucky." Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!" FML
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Top comments
peacelovepugs 7
acne.
hk_fml 9
Ohhhh man. That is so unfortunate.
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Comments (141)
pepperburn 0
do you have like pepperoni size acnes or something? hows that possible?
jeanniner 0
mmm pizza...
ScottieJo 8
It's funny, cause your fat.
uj_fml 4
hot!
TheZephyrSon 3
lmao that's hilarious
Oupazas 1
Were there anchovies on your face?
BulldogQB4 0
Dude that sucks, I had a really bad skin problem and I'm currently dealing w the lingering redness. My main tip is wash it twice when you shower in the morning and again at night. Cells change most at night so when it's clean it's obviously beneficial. Also drink a lot of water, it seriously improved my skin.
necromancerlord 0
Such a cheesey smile...
LOLOLOLOLOLOL123 2
Thats cute
Artur_fml 0
Yeeeahhhh... you MIGHT wanna keep an eye on that kid.
coffeennicotine 0
#4, you're stupid. Acne, dumbass, the OP has acne. And OP, what the kid said is kinda gross. Sorry you're having skin issues