Kids: Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered...

By notyouagain - 03/10/2010 07:40 - Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 590

You deserved it 4 947

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Same thing different taste

By mimo - 14/11/2008 04:16 - France

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 484

You deserved it 5 002

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 880

You deserved it 6 073

The nickname that sticks

By boobswerehere - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Reno

Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 973

You deserved it 1 570

By unwanted - 26/11/2014 18:13 - Canada - Dollard-des-ormeaux

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 625

You deserved it 2 936

By -1 friend - 17/05/2013 21:16 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 330

You deserved it 14 668

By Anon - 12/01/2012 19:24 - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 5 357

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 857

You deserved it 5 521

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 02:06 - Canada

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 752

You deserved it 7 383

By anonymous - 20/09/2016 22:49 - United States - Avon

Today, I tried to jokingly hold the door shut so my friend, who I'd seen walking down the hall to our class, couldn't get in. It was funny, until my new teacher yelled "Open the damn door!" from the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 378

You deserved it 12 305

By downlowtooslow - 12/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 655

You deserved it 6 873

failblorg 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:09

lmaoo you must be extremely annoying

DocBastard 38

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:12

So spank him. Done.

Comments

heartless_fml 6

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:08

sucks.

sarahalyssa_fml 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:34

Ring the doorbell again and when he answers say, "Oh crap, it's YOU" and walk away

KingDingALing 9

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:37

BURNED by a 5 year old!! :p

deathcab7 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:19

another reason why to love little kids...

aeroliontvw 4

Monday 4 October 2010 11:01

it's because they're so cute!

DerrickJames 33

Sunday 27 January 2013 11:29

All little kids are evil!

failblorg 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:09

lmaoo you must be extremely annoying

cole86 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:33

and u must be right for sore

HahaHokayThen 10

Sunday 3 October 2010 19:20

& you're better?

failblorg 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:17

muuuuuuuuch better :D

Rokksteady 3

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:10

Owned!

randomchickkk 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 17:41

by a 5 year old.

HackerD00d 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 19:11

nice **** ^

irox98 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:11

pownage

mahimalil 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:11

mean !! tell your friend !!!

twinny_sc 13

Sunday 3 October 2010 18:33

Yes, the OP can tattle on the 5-year-old kid. Sounds awesome and mature!

mahimalil 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:05

No the OP tells her friend so she can deal with him.

mr_mccarthy 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:12

well you do live in victoria.......

Crimsonhead 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:12

He's 5... kids say shit like that. I'm pretty sure your life is not ******.

Loviinqx3 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 17:13

Still not a pleasant thing to be greeted to :(

xAznNinjaGuy 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:12

Well, I guess your a social reject now. It was scientifically proven by a 5 year old.

xAznNinjaGuy 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:47

*You're

DocBastard 38

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:12

So spank him. Done.

deathnotedeluxe 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:13

ydi for having friends with kids. they suck, get new friends with no kids. or friends with better kids.

Hoplaka 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 17:48

WTF? Almost all of my friends have kids and some of them are rude but still you didn't have to say that.

spanelli 16

Sunday 3 October 2010 19:14

Death Note. <33 Kids do suck. The only kid I like is my nephew, because he's cool. :p

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 194

The Top

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 621

You deserved it 4 746

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 366

You deserved it 6 663

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 874

You deserved it 4 512

Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 4 694

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 009

You deserved it 54 701

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 143

You deserved it 3 770

Same thing different taste

The nickname that sticks

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