Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the daycare in my area. When this one kid was leaving, he asked his mom, "Why is she so ugly?" FML
Today, at work, I gave ice cream to a kid and apple pie to his dad. The kid decided to grab a literal handful of the dad’s pie which was steaming hot. Cue the kid screaming and the dad yelling at me for not telling his kid that the dessert, that WASN'T HIS, was hot and he shouldn’t touch it. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat licking my face. Cute, right? Turns out, she was licking the crumbs off my cheek from last night's pizza party. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said, "Eww!" The boy then asked, "What's "ew" mean?" I replied, "Something gross and yucky." Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!" FML
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Top comments
peacelovepugs 7
acne.
hk_fml 9
Ohhhh man. That is so unfortunate.
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Comments (141)
likeduhhx4 0
maybe that's a hint that you need some medication for your face.
nodbor 11
which type, pepperoni or taco?
barlessprison 16
#17 HAHAHA OP, I'm sorry to hear that. Karma's gonna bite that kid back in the ass. Just you wait till he reaches puberty.
compasseagle89 8
Today, I read a horrible and contrived FML where the OP (once again) took an old joke/story and pathetically tried to make it seem like it actually happened to them. FML
Undispu7ed 0
LOL FYL.
shalvius 3
briliant comments ^^
jSOPURE 3
At least your face looks yummy! :)
abriannaXOXO 1
That kid has a problem and the parents should spend more time with his so he wouldn't be such an a$$ all the time -_<
FarSide 23
You should have tripped the little mofo when he wasn't looking.
st87 0
HAHAHA that reminds me of that snot pizza thing from dominos =P