Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the daycare in my area. When this one kid was leaving, he asked his mom, "Why is she so ugly?" FML
Today, at work, I gave ice cream to a kid and apple pie to his dad. The kid decided to grab a literal handful of the dad’s pie which was steaming hot. Cue the kid screaming and the dad yelling at me for not telling his kid that the dessert, that WASN'T HIS, was hot and he shouldn’t touch it. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat licking my face. Cute, right? Turns out, she was licking the crumbs off my cheek from last night's pizza party. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said, "Eww!" The boy then asked, "What's "ew" mean?" I replied, "Something gross and yucky." Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!" FML
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Top comments
peacelovepugs 7
acne.
hk_fml 9
Ohhhh man. That is so unfortunate.
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Comments (141)
jorygirly 0
someone could use some acne cleansers. or just wipe off that cheesy smile of yours :)
jj732 0
64, don';t even mention that shit rip off site mydrunktxts on here! for one thing they used to have the same exact layout as FML (completely the same) and stole the concept. god i hate the motherfuckers who made that site.
brookester23 0
I'm dealing with acne too, so I feel your pain... Just remember, he's only a kid. And to the rest of you rude asses, acne is not something people CHOOSE to have. We apologize for not having perfectly clear skin like the rest of you. OP, perhaps seeing a dermatologist might help the problem. It did for me. :] Good luck! Xoxo.
beautifullycrazy 0
youch. acne sucks.
randOmlyahmazing 0
# 25 that was not funny... and hes a what 4 year old ? relax , whether you have acne of not theyre going to say something stupid | funny. this one wasn't that funny. pizza face . pizza looks pretty damn good to me = )
Pamina128 0
Proactive is your friend.
sarah2144 14
Ouch. That sucks. 5 year old kids just don't know when to not say something, do they? Anyway, here's a tip: salicylic acid. Works wonders on the face. Now I'm hungry for pizza, though. Is that wrong?
genius_man16 1
#90 you probably have the acne that's a virus. Just go to the doctor and they'll give you some prescription shit that will work in no time
natalieexelainee 0
awh dont listen to that kid hes an ass, but maybe try neutrogena wave, it might help
IAmBridgette 0
Oh ew. I pictured a face covered with red zits...