Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
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Top comments
Rei_Ayanami 18
Sometimes a funny memory is better than sex.
conrad01 6
Ahh... Laughter truly is the best birth control!
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Comments (98)
NoxiousNorwegian 5
So, is "awkward fit" the new politically correct term for being asinine enough to buy a piece of clothing that (you ultimately knew yet overlooked for whatever reason) was, let's face it, WAY TOO SMALL..... Maybe you enjoy looking like a 2y.o. Who has gotten their head stuck in a bucket because "it seemed like a food idea at the time."
unknown_user5566 27
It doesn't mean it was too small. I have a couple of "business" dresses that fit me like a glove when they are on, but because I have some curves, they are difficult to get off. Same thing could've happened to OP. Maybe she's just been blessed with a chest that ****-blocks her out of sex sometimes. :)
NoxiousNorwegian 5
Chill folks, it was a joke. I understand all about weird shirts.... And pants for that matter. I was making a funny....
unknown_user5566 27
I posted this underneath another comment already, but so many people are jumping to the conclusion that OP doesn't know how to dress herself, I figured I'd make it an actual comment. Getting clothing stuck does not mean the size is too small. I own a few business-type dresses that don't get stuck when I am getting dressed, and they fit like a glove once they're on. Because I have some curves, I sometimes have a hard time getting them off. Same thing could've happened to OP. Maybe she's just blessed with a chest, and it just ****-blocks her sometimes. :)
Shrouds 14
Giggles all around! See the humor in your situation, don't always have to take yourself so seriously. :)
funnytruth 0
I agree with 1
NoReservations 9
Any guy I know would be more than willing to assist a female in getting her shirt off if it's a struggle... it's nice he has a sense of humor, but next time tell him you still want the sex.
1710_fml 0
That's the truth
NoReservations 9
My boyfriend would be like a motion sensor, lol. He would be helping me out in a second!
1710_fml 0
He must be lucky
1710_fml 0
I know id help you if i was your boyfriend damn
NoReservations 9
Thanks :) Lmao, he's as persistent as he can be XD
1710_fml 0
Yuppers
eccentrix 12
Why do so many women have trouble dressing/undressing themselves?
eccentrix 12
You either have a great life or a terrible one.
RoseCrystal 17
the t shirt has magically morphed into a straight jacket
mightymart 5
Joke's on him if he's that easily entertained and missing out on sex..
Emerald_86 0
Aww but it's soo sweet ! . Makes for an awesome memory though.