Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
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Top comments
Rei_Ayanami 18
Sometimes a funny memory is better than sex.
conrad01 6
Ahh... Laughter truly is the best birth control!
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Comments (98)
PaulB123 11
Moral of the story: if you try to impress your boyfriend with overly tight clothes, it doesn't pay off... And they don't come off!
luvbughug 5
He should of just ripped it off!
loserboii 11
Refusal to have sex from a guy? Impossible!
loserboii 11
I was being pedantic.
FMLshark 12
Next time, don't flatter yourself by buying clothes too small for you.
ICastillo 25
FMLshark I think it was the girl who needed the manager to cut the skirt off of her.....she didn't learn her lesson
FMLshark 12
Only this time, she could've tried having her boyfriend rip the shirt off. Although I can't see that going out too well and just turning into another FML somehow.
UMOISTBRO 0
Lolyes.
ElricMustang 23
That's why they don't sell shirts in size "awkward fit".
anarchist884 9
Buy bigger shirts, simple solution! Obv little self deception going on somewhere ;)
tony1891 22
well at least you can look back one day and have a good laugh. =)
kevinn95 0
Its better to have what i think would be a life time memory, weather u remain together or not, than one more day of sex
1710_fml 0
I'd rather take the one more day of sex
penguindude82 2
Thats's just adorable. For the record, I would laugh too, but would also want to have sex afterward even more.
xGabii 0
Doesn't matter had se..wait no.
klovemachine 24
Awesome :)