Do not attempt this at home

By Anonymous - 01/04/2014 02:08 - United States - Santa Barbara

Spicy
Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 756
You deserved it 37 202
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Top comments

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Salt. in your... ******...? Is this a common thing or is it just you, because all I can imagine it feeling like is having sand stuck in there. *vaginal cringe*

483 6

Comments

Lebeaugars95 20

salt should never be near any genitalia..

225 5
imyy 20

Sounds like she's a little salty about this.

62 14
aruden 25

actual pop rocks would have been a lot more fun

99 2
prinncess00 16

Croch Rocks! Let the thumbs down commence...

21 92
colby6666 43

99- Yes, thumb down your comment, mainly because you spelled "crotch" wrong.

134 1
incoherentrmblr 21

Just don't put any coca-cola in there. You might die if you decide to eat out...

36 6
loooloool 13

Can't you get a yeast infection from that crap?

63 0
kewpiesuicide 29

Still surprised this FML has more 'I agree, your life sucks' than 'You deserved it'...

19 4
TCKM416 15

Poprocks in your ****** would give you a yeast infection

0 0
jerryj 27

I may not have a ******, but I feel for you.

361 8
Sadgirox 7

#2 when I read this , you had 69 thumbs up

3 66
Saif94 4

This is the best comment I have ever read

5 31
speakersboom 19

That's probably why you got thumbed down.

18 5
BigJoeZD 16

How could you do that #2? It clearly says that she's married to her husband!

1 16
mr_aaaaaaaa 12

Why ur husband didn't put some salt on his dick too?

312 16
onealmxwilson 18

Peppered his pecker

119 4
ribbons 23

It seems he was planning on getting salt on his dick a bit later -- she mentioned "to spice things up for the next round". So, really, was he expecting it to turn into a bubble bath in her vag or something?

85 6
shanebob 15

#3, your grammar is atrocious.

1 4
MisterEx 28

MEXICAN BEER! Wtf is wrong with me?

MisterEx 28

I regret nothing! Except maybe my previous comment. And yesterday's burrito. And life.

100 6
Alihb 16

I think we all eventually get to that point were we regret life

42 3
thesinginguy 18

Number 1 rule if comedy: Random does not equal funny.

11 38
HowsBoutaRoadie 8

you should put bath salts in his coffee the next morning. the drug kind not the smelly stuff.

hunteryager 18

Oh yeah, drugging your husband is always a good idea. Especially if the drug makes you crazy enough to eat someone's face. Mmmm faces....

148 4
SqueakyChipmunk 21

It was proven that the guy was never on bath salts, he was just plain crazy.

63 9
hunteryager 18

More than just plain crazy. More like ******* psychotic.

76 1
tman1985 9

Caaaaaarrrllllll, is that you? (llamas with hats) ..."because friendship is 2 pals munching on a well cooked face together."

53 5
hunteryager 18

Caaaaaaaarrrlll that kills people!

47 3
1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Caaaaaaaarrrlll!!!!

29 4
pandalover69 26

@21, those are a different kind of bath salt. Bath salts you bathe with and bath salts you get high off of are 2 completely different things. If you actually try to smoke the ones you bathe with nothing will happen, you'll just look like a moron.

5 36
hunteryager 18

Yes but #5 mentioned the drug kind specifically. I understand there's a difference.

24 2
kissmeImawkward 17

I laughed out loud at your comment and for some reason, I still have that image stuck in my head

1 5
VeganVampyre 26

113, there are other ways to look like a moron... Not reading comment threads properly before you reply to them, for example?

11 0
littlem91 29

Did you not notice him doing it? I'm a little confused how you'd not realise. Of course you're also clearly married to a moron. Perhaps see a doctor, that can't be good.

278 22
Palirose 22

Right? Obviously OP is a moron too for even allowing him to do such a stupid thing.

86 3
SqueakyChipmunk 21

Salt. in your... ******...? Is this a common thing or is it just you, because all I can imagine it feeling like is having sand stuck in there. *vaginal cringe*

483 6
1PersonIsMyWorld 22

ya I agree.. it seems odd and not something I would even think about doing.

43 2
nightowl713 25

Definitely not a common thing where I'm from! Really though, that most likely will cause a pretty bad infection. Drs say that just taking bubble baths isn't good for your "woman hood", I can't imagine having essentially "chemically altered rocks" shoved up there. How was that even supposed to be pleasurable? I imagine it being quite painful for the both of you, OP.

38 2
hayjay2000 8

I imagine it a lot more painful. Most women can't even have pads with faint scents (irritative) so I can imagine smelly bath salts would burn and hurt a LOT.

14 2
rinzlerkitty94 31

Vaginal cringe. I've never known that was a thing before just now.

1 0
gracehi 31

Put bath salts up his ass and see how he likes it.

302 8
XCrazyMofo2010X 17

Ouch. Next time be careful or atleast use something less… Salty

93 7