Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
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By
TiggityTony
| 5
Fatality.
By
gc327072
| 29
Quietly bring it home and make an epic turkey breast sandwich!
COMMENTS
By
SomeRandomGuy15
| 18
Ouch... F the Turkey's life...
Reply
wlddog
| 14
OP: "Oh you got a turkey last year? What did you kill it with? Ah, you shot it, thats nice. You'r an awesome hunter. I only used my right foot to kill mine."
Reply
asnakelovinbabe
| 16
F the op's life. They actually believe a turkey is a "stupid" animal. Turkeys are incredibly smart. They can also really lay a hurting on you... This one may have been attempting to spur the OP in the moment it "flew" at them. That can be really painful... I accidentally killed a chicken in this same way... He had cornered me and was spurring my legs, so I threw out my boot In defense and killed him by accident. I was just a kid. Knowing what I know now, I would have grabbed that little bastard and punted him clear across the farm.
Reply
mansen
| 15
turkeys are evil. I am still terrified of them due to my father and uncles sick sense of humour when I was 8yrs old. Go ahead, go into the pen and pet the turkey that is as big as you! He is really friendly! Stupid naive me went in all excited to pet said turkey though asking aloud why his head was turning purple. Soon found out as I was running for my lil 8yr old life from a very very pissed off turkey. The adults? Nearly pissing themselves laughing. Me...scarred for life...turkeys are evil.
Reply
Squirrel1256
| 15
I thought Turkey's were the animals that liked to look up during thunderstorms, causing them to drown. Doesn't seem very smart to me...
Reply
pipinya
| 8
76 - please read what you just said and try to explain how that is even remotely possible
Reply
kozzard
| 17
look up mouth open, mouth fills with water, too stupid to spit/swallow water, dies when lungs fill with water from trying to breathe. its not hard to figure out 86
Reply
99megster
| 15
76) I've heard something like that too. I think it's ostriches that do that.... Not sure it it's true or not though
Reply
lunarstarfox
| 6
yeah they do that 76, domestic ones are more prone to do so than wild ones
Reply
elephantsarecute
| 16
1- Sadly, I don't think the turkey has a life to be F'd anymore.
Reply
fml121785
| 14
68- I agree, I had a very similar experience. Good job OP you probably just saved some child from a future turkey attack. Turkeys are evil.
Reply
summy15423
| 12
Who shoo's anything away by kicking?
Reply
Palirose
| 22
I hope OP at least took it home to cook. >>
Reply
outoftown
| 26
68 - The turkey was just being a turkey.
Your father and uncles were turkeys for putting you in harm's way.
Your father and uncles were turkeys for putting you in harm's way.
Reply
lambda_fml
| 40
Kool story, brah.
Reply
patrickalamo
| 47
There is a penalty for being stupid. This time it was death.
And a good dinner
And a good dinner
Reply
Raesin
| 21
89 - There are people that actually believe that?
Reply
squishycat
| 6
I had a rooster like that when I was a kid! We nicknamed him Cujo, because he was so vicious, he was like a rabid dog (And, no, we never mistreated any of our animals, he was just psycho) We had to keep him outside the chicken run, or else he'd gore the hens. When some local cops showed up, who were friends of my dad's, they thought it would be a good idea to put him back in, as they thought he'd gotten loose. Two shredded uniforms and a trip to the hospital later...
Reply
ChaCerCam
| 14
...
Reply
Akagii_Yamashita
| 8
They'd drown because the rain would be inhaled by the turkey and the bird would drown.
By
RavenDesired
| 10
Omg, poor turkey, but LOL.
Reply
xXHollowIchigoXx
| 17
I have to say, I would feel like complete shit after I mistakenly killed a turkey. But a part of my mind would be like "LOL, WHY DID YOU RUN INTO IT! LOL OMG".
Reply
Cartera
| 10
38 - I think you're insane if you are expressing emotions as acronyms.
Reply
killmoose
| 5
Idk why people are so sad... They eat turkey every single year with your family
Reply
verkaderk
| 9
75 I was wondering the same. Why waste a perfectly good turkey? It's already dead anyways
Reply
MrPlopper
| 9
162- it was in a park, OP might not be legally able to just kill the bird and take it home to eat
Reply
andyyroxx
| 20
Ask Dwight.
Reply
klutz44
| 28
174 - if it's illegal to kill the bird anyway, he might as well dispose of the body so he doesn't get in trouble.
Dispose of it right into his belly. Mmmm turkey dinner!
Dispose of it right into his belly. Mmmm turkey dinner!
Reply
yoyoforpeace
| 14
#125 but we never kill it ourselves and if we do it's not on accident. I would feel bad if I accidentally killed an animal...anyone with a heart would.
Reply
node_fml
| 5
187 I wouldn't call this a true accident. Turkeys are very aggressive I'd just be relieved the turkey wasn't attacking me anymore.
By
Mirailecious
| 23
Ouch. at least it was a quick death, not a slow painful one.
Reply
SomeRandomGuy15
| 18
Well, I'd think having its neck kicked in would be pretty painful...
Reply
Mirailecious
| 23
If it died on the spot, I don't think the turkey stayed alive long enough to feel that much pain. If it didn't die on the spot, then F the turkey's life.
Reply
vehementbitch
| 4
Lets just hope no one saw that, and walk away like nothing ever happened. :)
Reply
fml121785
| 14
Don't chickens run around after their heads get cut off sometimes? So he probably felt his broken neck for quite a while! Haven't you heard of Mike the Headless Chicken that lived for a year and a half after having his head cut off? Yea, I'm sure he was in quite a lot of pain.
Reply
lilhellian
| 26
My question is how can something live a year an a half decapicated.. I know roaches live a week before they die of starvation.. But the chicken.. I require proof..
Reply
geko911
| 22
Not sure if troll or incredibly gullible person...
Reply
bethrocksya
| 9
Google it! Miracle mike! Lol they were gonna chop his head for supper but the axe missed! So they kept him alive... Poor thing!
Reply
lilhellian
| 26
His head was still attached>.> Half on but still on is on!
By
TiggityTony
| 5
Fatality.
Reply
SomeRandomGuy15
| 18
Flawless Victory!
Reply
iTsbSkuLLy
| 8
Yep OP has definitely and successfully mastered death quando
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
Test your strike.
Reply
Bstaut
| 8
TEEHEE!
Reply
newbiehere99
| 6
FINISH HER
Reply
inzunza
| 5
YAHTZEEE!!!
Reply
octopussperm125
| 18
Everybody was kung fu fighting....
Reply
DaftDude
| 11
Turkality!
By
gc327072
| 29
Quietly bring it home and make an epic turkey breast sandwich!
Reply
MeLikeBigBoom
| 8
Yeah just strolling down the sidewalk carrying a 20 pound dead turkey...
Reply
vewwe
| 20
Thanksgiving is saved!
Reply
SamiWebs
| 5
Haha. That's classic.
Reply
gc327072
| 29
24- yup. Gobblers gonna gobble.
By
lambda_fml
| 40
Damn your ninja reflexes.
By
BlowinChronic
| 18
You should have just let it follow you and told everyone it was your pet turkey. Everyone would have thought it was hilarious, but instead you killed it and now look like an asshole.
Reply
SomeRandomGuy15
| 18
Dangnabit, now I want a pet turkey!
Reply
SApprentice
| 33
19- They're actually not that bad for pet fowl. I prefer a nice pet rooster, because the turkeys tend to be more standoffish, but really, they're not bad. Some of them like head rubs and things, or having their backs scritched at. They just need a little bit of space, a nice nesting area, and a sincere promise to never eat them and they're happy.
Reply
23Z9TZO
| 18
Thanks Captain Hindsight :D
By
Incredidanny
| 5
Mmm.. Dinner!
By
Nicholi124
| 10
And I shall call it the kick of death
Reply
yourlifesucksHA
| 14
Wtf?!?
Reply
Nicholi124
| 10
Thank you 221
Reply
SomeRandomGuy15
| 18
Are you perhaps a practitioner of Death-Kwon-Do?
Reply
idgaf528
| 6
More like...
Death-Kwon-"Dont"!!
**buh dum, tss**
Death-Kwon-"Dont"!!
**buh dum, tss**
By
perdix
| 29
Too bad you don't live in America -- you would have scored your Thanksgiving feast about 9 months early.
Reply
420Zombie
| 17
just toss that bad boy in the freezer for the next 8 months...