Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML
Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
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Top comments
TiggityTony 5
Fatality.
gc327072 31
Quietly bring it home and make an epic turkey breast sandwich!
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Comments (247)
reflexion213 11
Survival of the fittest.
rockbandaddict85 22
well no sense in wasting it now....I smell dinner! way fresher then your local super market and no additives! here honey, I caught dinner with my two bare hands....all by myself lol....yah that's it!
wonderwomann 7
YOU KILLED A TURKEY -_____- but wait....where the hell did it come from?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI for 1.) saying it's a stupid animal, and 2.) trying to shoo it away like that. It wasn't hurting you or bothering you, so why try to scare it away? You killed an innocent animal for no reason. I think you're the stupid one. Or, should I say, bird brain? I'm an animal rights activist and you, buddy, are a heartless imbecile. Like I said, that turkey wasn't bothering you, it was just following you. Leave the poor thing alone. YDI for being a jerk.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
1) Animals aren't nearly as smart as us buddy. Any human that runs neck-first into a kick would be considered stupid; why not a turkey? 2) Turkeys are very malicious animals. Given the chance, they WILL attack you and they WILL do damage. 3) Were the OP a "heartless embecile," he wouldn't have felt the need to post this on FML. 4) Any animal rights activist is even dumber than the animals that he/she is trying to protect. Animals have primitive, basic minds. They run more off of instinct than thought. And believe me, that animal that you're trying to "protect" will attack and kill you in a HEARTBEAT. Judgemental asshole.
docscientist 10
85 you sound like one of those activists who doesn't quite understand things but doesn't let that stop you from taking severe personal offense to every slight.
docscientist 10
101- you're wrong on four. Who says most humans don't run mostly on basic thought processes. Many animals don't behave in the manner you suggest, many act on thought processes beyond basic instinct.
rahrah27 10
#101, I'm fairly sure that the turkey OP was talking about was a brush turkey, i.e. native to Australia and not much bigger than a chicken. Definitely not going to kill anyone.
jem970 19
101 is partially correct. Animal activist as also are against circuses (dont get me wrong so am I) but those elephants and tigers and lions? They will and do kill people. Some animals are dangerous to people and turkeys can be very mean and slash at you. Had it happen to me. Don't judge to harshly.
stargirl_95 24
Am I the only one who finds it ironic that 85 said that birds aren't stupid and then proceeded to call OP a bird brain? Surely if bird's aren't stupid then calling someone a bird brain wouldn't be an insult and may even be a compliment? Your logic confuses me 85.
murphdarkly 13
Must have been a domesticated one wild turkeys are super smart
Psycho_Babydoll 26
I voted both FYL and YDI on this one... You didn't mean to kill it, I get that, and you obviously feel bad about it. And that sucks. But if you're going to lash out at an animal (or any other living thing, this could have been a confused toddler following you) you should be prepared for accidents. There was really no need to kick out at the poor thing. So on that note, you deserved it but I think you learned from this.
erichsalvesen 13
Turkeys are so stupid they stare up at the sky when it rains and drown. Now eat it.
cobalttanker 14
Sounds like your bringing home supper :)
jdavis24 2
This is a lie. Turkeys are very smart.
katykoolcat 13
Poor animal, hate people who shoo animals aways or scream. Urgh
jem970 19
I screamed at a bear when he was sniffing around my camp in Colorado. Does that make me mean?