Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went outside to feed the hedgehogs who often visit my garden. It was late in the evening and dark outside. I was walking barefoot, when I suddenly stepped on something. It felt soft and splashed apart under my foot. I looked and realized that I had stepped on a slug. FML
Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML
Today, on my way home from school, I accidentally stepped on a dead rat. That gross squishy feeling and the sound of its bones cracking… I'm never going to forget that for the rest of my life. FML
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML
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Top comments
Doritozilla 20
Imagine just sitting there relaxing when all of the sudden a giant foot squishes you? o.O
then000bster 16
Sounds like you had a smashing time.
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Comments (97)
then000bster 16
Sounds like you had a smashing time.
PterodactylMan 23
Don't let that frog step all over you
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
I hate stepping on anything squishy... especially when im barefoot..it sends chills all throughout my body.
kennkenn13 13
*Nigel Thornberry voice* Smashing..
TheCanucklehead 22
Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your fought on and squish it all about...
TheCanucklehead 22
Hey #25. Frog got your throat?
yetanotherginger 19
Am I the only person who thought of Monty Python?
webbface 25
#1 best pun I have seen all night.
AppleJuiceBox 10
This has actually happened to me before. With multiple slimy creatures. Frogs, slugs, you name it. I feel like I should also include the fact that I had no shoes on.
Doritozilla 20
Imagine just sitting there relaxing when all of the sudden a giant foot squishes you? o.O
Uramonkey 11
And to think all the frog had left was to go across a couple of logs and he would have made it to safety past the river :(.
GoodLookingGeese 10
And that's a true FML, not some kid wimping over his fear..
Kelsey_709 9
Hate it when that happens. Ruins my whole day.
yup93 7
Poor Kermit.
ThedaRose 15
ok 1) Poor frog 2) thats gross 3) did you have frog legs for dinner?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Gross
ohjoy15 33
3). Yes, because the first thing I want to do after I step on something with my bare feet is EAT IT.
Enslaved 38
Hey, I've heard of the "Eat what you kill" policy. But I think there's a loophole in this scenario. :P
SirEbro 7
#4 Now I see how your brain works.. 'oh my god I stepped on that poor frog'... *lifts foot* 'that's gross'.. *comes to the conclusion* 'well, its a waste not to eat a frog squished with my own dirty foot'...
ohjoy15 33
@#48 Kind of like the whole "if you kill a cow, you have to make a burger" scenario? But this is repulsive. The frog (which is probably a bacteria breeding ground itself) was sandwiched between two ultra disgusting surfaces (the bottom of a foot and the ground). There is no way even Jesus himself could convince me to put that vile thing in my mouth.
Genociiide 15
You guys haven't realized that she's using sarcasm yet? Jeeze.
Kelsey_709 9
@#48 Eat what you kill? Looks like I'm having hookers for dinner.
ThedaRose 15
@76 - THANK you! Apparently you and I are the only ones who can tell sarcasm from seriousness.
ydjns 3
Looks like that frog... croaked.
Nyx_fml 23
OP should have at least worn peep toad shoes.
obnum 19
That was a ribbiting tale, OP. I can't wait to see where the story hops to next.
RoboCunnilingus 23
As ribbiting as it may have been, it had me feeling a tad polar. On one hand it's an interesting tale, until you realize that frog is really gone. No jumping back from that.
Katy326 10
I'm sure his family will be crushed.
Black_Rose97 9
imagine the frog's horror as you crushed it...
thisawkwardchick 15
I think he did...and that's why yes scarred for life...
alwayswinning123 7
Well I can't imagine how scared it was because its well..uhh..dead
Cynical_1 26
You killed Kermit? Miss Piggy is gunna make yoy pay!
PenguinBitch 44
Awww what has Yoy ever done to OP?
RoboCunnilingus 23
Nothing, but I'm sure Yoy owes Ms. Piggy dome money.
flashback.miss 28
*shudder* I'd feel awful. at least it was an accident, don't be too hard on yourself.
XAndrea_MalikX 16
Poor Froggy D:
tomgun_fml 16
Mmmmm... Frog legs...