Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML
Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
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Top comments
TiggityTony 5
Fatality.
gc327072 31
Quietly bring it home and make an epic turkey breast sandwich!
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Comments (247)
ViviMage 40
Take it home and cremate it. Or stop partway through the process and baste in its juices!
whY402Jay 12
Well, it could have become aggressive and slashed a huge gash in your leg. Most people I know understand the viciousness of wild turkeys.
swampbaby985 30
Thanksgiving dinner?
Danfran_1147 10
Instantaneously?
pittyfinny 4
You ass
mcar 13
Well turkeys are one of the most stupidest animals.
yaoifreak 8
eat it so it doesnt die in vain !!!!!
trav_o 8
It was obviously a failed attempt of a kamikaze turkey.
RaulGarcia30 10
Thanksgiving at your house!!!!
beanthemouse 13
Guys.. We do not celebrate thanksgiving in Australia. People are saying that "oh, turkeys are dangerous! Do not be so judgemental!" so does that mean that you can kill an animal that is dangerous, even if he did not attack you, just for the sake of being "dangerous"? And the turkey reacted beacuse he thought he was going to be attacked. Of course an animal would react when threatened! And OP does not sound like he feel bad for killing one on Australias Bush Turkeys when he described it "stupid". I think OP was the stupid one for even being bothered by a sweet turkey.