Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML
Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TiggityTony 5
Fatality.
gc327072 31
Quietly bring it home and make an epic turkey breast sandwich!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (247)
MidnightMusic53 37
Oddly enough, while moderating the FMLs, I saw one related to this. It went something like this, "Today, while at the park with my pet turkey, some asshole killed it for no reason. FML"
PhishloverA 14
Now you have one to cook for thanksgiving
beanthemouse 13
Why didn't you let the turkey follow you? You despicible human being!
hazardmuffin 21
Was it really necessary to fake kick at it so forcefully? I hope you made good use of that meat. You kill an animal, you ought to be responsible for it, accident or otherwise.
Inked0803 12
Take it home got your turkey early this year for Thanksgiving.
radianceepica 9
The rule to go by is that you eat what you kill. Hope you took it home to eat and didn't leave it there to rot. If you eat it, then it's not a big deal that you killed it, but if you left it, then shame on you.
Austyn57 1
omg the samething happend to me at band camp lol
dead247 13
Dinner time.
umyeahh 13
Fyl?? You're not the one who died..
infamoushack 10
Dinner anyone? Lol