Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML
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Top comments
noobgang7 5
wow keep ur mouth shut next time
Residence_fml 4
You feel bad about him finding out everyone thought he was annoying? Shouldn't you have told him that he was too slow so he could get out and go swim into another lane? YDI for bitching about someone the entire time without doing something about it and then feel bad he found out.
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Comments (139)
HamsteronA 0
snickdoodles wins 2 awards this year at the BAFTAs, troll with the stupiddiest name and WORLDS FIRST grammatically correct troll!!!!! if shed like come and take her award I'd be more than happy to help but it seems she can't be here tonight because she to busy yelling at a noob for spelling "stuppidest" wrong.
mzhonesty 0
It's more of a FHL. He just realized that you're talking shit about him.
omgwtffmmfl 0
YDI for not drowning the bastard
coffeeshawtee 0
What kind of nerd swims in the "fast lane" then cusses? Hahahahaha, a dorky one :)
KayleeFrye 39
When will people learn? Bad things will often happen if you: 1. Say something rude about some stranger to someone else (OP!!!) 2. Do any action that can be narrated using the sentence, "I was trying to look cool when..." 3. Hold up cats and other various animals to imitate baby Simba Avoid doing these things, and a lot of your problems will go away! Of course, then we wouldn't have all these funny FML's to read...
heykelsey 0
^^^ this. is full of win.
orin69 0
swim somewhere else. because you may be faster doesn't entitle you to own the pool
willou35_fml 13
lol
BigBoii123456 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahah
NGM_47 0
Snickerdoodles, you just called the OP an asshole, is that not childish and rude? You don't know her, so don't judge. I admit, it was a bad idea to say what she said, but you can't tell people not to say rude things and then you say something rude to them... BTW, I posted this comment before, but it keeps saying that it got deleted =/
ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0
wow