Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML
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Top comments
noobgang7 5
wow keep ur mouth shut next time
Residence_fml 4
You feel bad about him finding out everyone thought he was annoying? Shouldn't you have told him that he was too slow so he could get out and go swim into another lane? YDI for bitching about someone the entire time without doing something about it and then feel bad he found out.
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Comments (139)
uhohuscrewedup 0
ydi. for being an ass!!!
StoryOfTheYear 15
she has a serious case of gingervitus, and no I'm not some fat guy in a dark room, I'm a 16 year old who is annoyed by people like you, and I'm on an iPod not a computer, actually hanging out with my friends, quite contradictory to what you said about me, you have a strange taste in women, I will consider someone good looking just by looking at their face, not their ****, and gingervitus girl is not hot
Zills 0
If you're 16 why the **** do you think anyone gives a **** about what you're saying. I don't think Snickers teeth aren't falling out of her head or she has a mouth disease for that matter. What's read wrong with red heads? They are the hottest women out there. You're the one with the strange taste in women.
StoryOfTheYear 15
and for some reason because your older (I presume) that suddenly makes everyones head look towards you if you have a comment? I happen to have no problem with redheads, and I don't think they are the hottest type of woman, because they are not, I just have a problem with this one
drewrox 0
hahaha
H0llyw00dWh0r3 0
Yes, she may be seeming hypocritical, but of course the guy is going to get ripped apart, he admitted to being an ass on FML! Even someone who said they were dying would get trolls saying 'YDI', but in this case, I don't see how this guy didn't deserve it. Also, she's just telling her opinion, which no-one can fault her for, plus the fact she's only going on what OP tells her. && Whoever the sixteen year old was, Snickerdoodles is very pretty. Open your goddamn eyes, just because you're a redhead doesn't mean you're not pretty. Lots of people including me & my best friend dye their hair red because it's a gorgeous colour.
ILikePopCorn 0
Hahaha # 44 Dissed Him Slef. KARMA. =D
ILikePopCorn 0
Hahaha # 44 Dissed HimSelf. KARMA =D
ILikePopCorn 0
My Bad, I Thought The First Time It Didnt Go Through. Uhm, I Guess It Did.
Youser 0
OP you ass hole!