Love: Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to...

By Anonymous - United States - Spring

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32551

You deserved it

1995

Favorite

Love

Rock, hard place

Ghosted

Booty pic

By melikeyturtles - United States

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25458

You deserved it

4749

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/10/2020 22:02 - United States - Klawock

Ross?

Today, my wife had a dream that I was in the bath with our newborn baby. In the dream, I threw the baby out like a football. She can't get the image out of her head and won't forgive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1137

You deserved it

Favorite

By yikes - United States

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49329

You deserved it

22667

Favorite

By argh - Canada

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35449

You deserved it

2034

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I learned after weeks of waiting that my order of vinyl siding had been shipped to a contractor in another state, who installed it without realizing it was the wrong style and color. I would have to wait weeks for a new shipment, except the manufacturer has discontinued it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2606

You deserved it

146

Favorite

By steph - China

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27879

You deserved it

6632

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Casselberry

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20877

You deserved it

5064

Favorite

By Burnt - United States

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47520

You deserved it

7528

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Yukon

Today, I spent over $20 at the laundromat doing two weeks of laundry, just to avoid using the facilities in my apartment complex and having to deal with my creepy landlord trying to steal my underwear again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22413

You deserved it

1600

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4798

You deserved it

6990

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my grandma has been sending me birthday money every year. My mom just steals it before I ever see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57310

You deserved it

3259

Favorite

By halfmypaycheckgone - United States - Monroe

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33889

You deserved it

4201

Favorite

By Anon - United States - San Francisco

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33067

You deserved it

3563

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Westwood

Today, as I was getting x-rays of my arm, I heard one technician ask another, "Are you sure those are hers?" At 17, I have weaker bones than my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12882

You deserved it

1072

Favorite

By embarrassed

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25695

You deserved it

3413

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16059

You deserved it

41996

Favorite

By rozziepop - United States - Visalia

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27352

You deserved it

3502

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Marcos

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50832

You deserved it

5216

Favorite

By Tennisplayer - United States

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12137

You deserved it

44070

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Dearborn

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37874

You deserved it

5039

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother changed the password on my laptop so that I can't log into my profile. All my notes for school are on it and finals start on Monday. Guess who can't remember the new password. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38487

You deserved it

3848

Favorite

By allennn - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12886

You deserved it

38417

Favorite

By Grrr - United States - Salem

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26231

You deserved it

2060

Favorite

By darkman28 - United States

Today, I was looking at the page of a girl I've had this big crush on for a long time. After getting a date with her and taking her horse back riding and having a picture taken of the two of us I find that she paint shopped me out of the picture before posting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63358

You deserved it

4524

Favorite

By luckycharmed - United States

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49617

You deserved it

4375

Favorite

By Money-money-money - France

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32412

You deserved it

5582

Favorite

By Tallulah - United Kingdom

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36333

You deserved it

6545

Favorite

By Anonymous

The Dilbert Principle

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4248

You deserved it

294

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26785

You deserved it

64314

Favorite

By Cinderstar95 - United States - Schererville

Today, my dad and brother found a Christmas present that they'd "forgotten" to give me. Expecting a joke, I apprehensively opened it. But I still wasn't prepared to unwrap the neck of the Christmas turkey. It had been rotting in the living room for 2 days. The smell was indescribable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6232

You deserved it

420

Favorite

By Random Person - United States

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27331

You deserved it

3510

Favorite

By EmDa - India

Today, I ran into a guy who I was completely in love with for months. After a couple of minutes, I realised he totally bores me senseless. What a waste of 4 months obsessing over that shithead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16703

You deserved it

64743

Favorite

By huh - United Kingdom - Troon

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32685

You deserved it

2602

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50974

You deserved it

4704

Favorite

By Username - Netherlands

Today, my sister announced that she had gotten engaged. I was happy for her until I found out she's marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied me all through high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42215

You deserved it

2979

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44851

You deserved it

4185

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4115

You deserved it

253

Favorite

By damnbananas - United States

Today, while at school, I slipped on a wet patch in the hall and fell over, smacking my head against the floor. I laid there for a good five minutes in agonizing pain while people literally walked over me. Not a single person bothered to help me up or ask if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36487

You deserved it

4318

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Cleveland

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72452

You deserved it

4044

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Foot-in-mouth syndrome

Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going great, I was so happy, until he started talking non-stop about the extent of his foot fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34097

You deserved it

5608

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By aislincalum | 5

#4682964 - Friday 13 July 2012 11:41

What did you say? I would have lost my shit.

By randomthing | 22

#4682965 - Friday 13 July 2012 11:41

The worst thing that could happen would be your fiancé listening to her. Just ignore her :p

COMMENTS

By aislincalum | 5

#4682964 - Friday 13 July 2012 11:41

What did you say? I would have lost my shit.

thesubconscious | 9

#4682993 - Friday 13 July 2012 12:14

"Oh Grandma, I think the Alzheimer's is making you forget why you are here"

Mideoyeo | 12

#4682998 - Friday 13 July 2012 12:18

She's a old person OP..some old folks tend to be batty and mean. So just ignore her OP, its a special day just focus on that! :D

sexygurllolz | 1

#4683018 - Friday 13 July 2012 12:39

you must have a loose butthole
if you lose your shits

patrickalamo | 47

#4683049 - Friday 13 July 2012 13:17

Grammy, I hope they are serving hotdogs that way you can go F**k yourself.

Uramonkey | 11

#4683054 - Friday 13 July 2012 13:30

I lost my shit while reading this... Because i'm on the can.

mojo5678 | 5

#4684391 - Saturday 14 July 2012 3:02

24- please kill yourself immediately

efemel94 | 7

#4684488 - Saturday 14 July 2012 3:22

I imagined nicholas cage losing his shit over situation... I'll never sleep again.

By randomthing | 22

#4682965 - Friday 13 July 2012 11:41

The worst thing that could happen would be your fiancé listening to her. Just ignore her :p

perdix | 29

#4683019 - Friday 13 July 2012 12:40

Wouldn't the worst thing that could happen be that the fiancé dumps the OP for the girl that Granny picked?

sunnyt | 5

#4683020 - Friday 13 July 2012 12:44

Well no duh, 25.

perdix | 29

#4683079 - Friday 13 July 2012 14:49

#26, shouldn't your "no, duh" be targeted at #2?

By BaconBob20 | 6

#4682966 - Friday 13 July 2012 11:41

At least he's with you, so don't be worried!

By fuzz97 | 23

#4682973 - Friday 13 July 2012 11:47

All the stories on here about the elderly lead me to believe that old people have absolutely no discretion.

outoftown | 26

#4683034 - Friday 13 July 2012 12:55

4, "old people have absolutely no discretion"
The ones who do don't make it into FMLs. Unless they write them, which I plan to do when I am one.

1crabbygirl | 10

#4683061 - Friday 13 July 2012 13:44

And they get away with a lot because people feel sorry for them. Old ppl have lived long enough to learn some tricks and to grow very, very brash.

By MetalxSoldier | 26

#4682974 - Friday 13 July 2012 11:48

Grams didn't take her meds. You'll have to excuse her. Don't forget to tell her about the "absolutely wonderful" retirement home where she will meet many lovely people like herself. ;)