Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
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Top comments
Serisent 26
If you know he doesn't like it and you did it anyway, you sort of had it coming.
Peach_assassin 8
"Today I did something wrong and suffered the consequences. FML"
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Comments (102)
Zeishah 26
Badass kid! He definitely knows how to assert himself!
gabagabaheyu 10
what did you think was going to happen?
FracturedMinds 21
That he would repent for his non-tickling ways. He would come to light! And let the spirit of the tickle monster embrace him in his giggly arms. or something like that.
Km1490 20
if you knew he didnt like it then why did you do it? you were.looking for it..
beaglegal 42
He probably didn't expect to be hit in the groin.
well_hi_there 7
YDI the kid doesnt like being tickled amd you know that so you do it anyways? had it coming
CrazyMelvin 14
You're a dumbass. You 100% deserve it. If someone did something you don't like, how would you react?
NiceGuysDoWin 21
i wouldn't punch them in the balls.
DaMann360 19
I would
Szaszaspasz 26
Me too!
beaverteaser 16
well played sir, well played
Sparx1_1 16
There are some places where that would be considered child abuse. Not that you tickled him but because you knew how much ha hated it and did it anyway. You deserved to get kicked in the nuts and you should be grateful his parents didn't call the police.
seang2377 1
are you serious? stfu. everyone on here is a tad bit ridiculous...but yours is the worst. ****** idiot.
SmokinGuns 13
Oh calm down. It's his nephew. That's what family does. They love and annoy each other. Never heard of someone calling the police over being tickled. -.-
Zaketh2112 10
Calm the **** down, Sparky. The nut check was punishment enough. No need for the law to get involved.
weveallbeenthere 30
hahahahahaha. ydi
rikkidi 20
You knew he doesn't like it and tickled him anyway. Yeah there's nothing more to add
EpicSquishii 21
When I got tickled as a kid, I used to punch and kick everyone in sensitive places on accident. People stopped trying around the time I turned 6 or so, and horror stories of bruised groins and broken noses has compelled me to abstain from tickling any little kids ever. Not worth the risk of injury be it accident or reprisal based. Hope you learned your lesson, OP!
doodlecloud 26
I still do this...not on purpose obviously, but really, when will people learn that tickling is serious business! It's a complete invasion of personal space if you don't want it and can be torturous. Even if you're laughing you can end up laughing so hard it physically hurts, and not in a good way.
SayPeanuts 29
I never kicked anyone but I did used to piss myself, that seems to work just as well.