Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
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Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
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Top comments
Serisent 26
If you know he doesn't like it and you did it anyway, you sort of had it coming.
Peach_assassin 8
"Today I did something wrong and suffered the consequences. FML"
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Comments (102)
tishtashbat 16
Well, he knows you don't like being punched in the groin, but he did it anyway. Now you know how he felt.
beaglegal 42
Haha I didn't think of it that way :)
worldclassrager 39
There is absolutely no reason that their life should suck...straight up deserved it...
usaidwhat82 21
If you knew he didn't want it, you sort of had it coming.
perdix 29
Tickling someone against their will is tantamount to torture. YDI! I'M NOT TICKLISH AT ALL, SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!
Zelphoric 25
I don't know who you are... But I well find you, and I will tickle you... To death!
perdix 29
Well, you'll be wasting your time because I am totally un-ticklish as I said before. I'm putting this on the Internet, so it must be true.
Zelphoric 25
"don't believe everything you read on the internet" ~abraham Lincoln
skipper2009 18
So the thing about shoving cinnamon up your ass won't cut the length of your cold in half?
Wizzlbang 10
If you're trying to avoid being tickled, don't say "I'm not ticklish", that just makes them want to prove you wrong. Instead, tell them you have diarrhea.
lylotrezor 20
122, I like the way you think.
gunda95 11
It doesn't matter about his age, his body his rules.
blayzie420 7
mess with the bull and you will get the horns.
Goblin182 26
You tortured a 6 year old and you paid the price. Totally deserved it, bully.
80zChyld 2
I wonder what makes you a ginger gawd?
Crazc 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hold the shit down and tickle the living hell out of him until he cries. then run away. fast.
bungholemcgee 11
you suck.
Zelphoric 25
37 do you torture people professionally? If not it may be a good career choice, ya crazy bastard
kate3101 15
Tickling is playful, so it seems trivial, but here's the truth. This is an issue about consent. When you touch someone in an unwelcome way, when they have clearly indicated they don't want that, then you are assaulting them. He has every right to take necessary steps to stop you from doing so and perhaps you'll respect his boundaries from now on.