Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
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Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
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Top comments
Serisent 26
If you know he doesn't like it and you did it anyway, you sort of had it coming.
Peach_assassin 8
"Today I did something wrong and suffered the consequences. FML"
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Comments (102)
at0micmin3r 23
Even if he doesn't like it, he has to learn that you DON'T hit people in those places. EVER. FYL.
TallMist 32
If someone touches you in a way you don't want them to, and you have warned them already, you have EVERY right to defend yourself. Little kid or not.
anniet292929 3
YDI. I hate being tickled, and when someone tickles me, I uncontrollably start kicking. It's hard restraining it to keep from hurting people. They think it's funny to tickle me, I think it's funny when I accidentally kick them square in the jaw.
DaytimeAura 1
OP shouldn't have been tickiling have been the kid, but his parents need to teach him that he can't punch people in revenge for it. Kids tickle each other too, and if he punches classmates ge will get in big trouble.
MyLifeSucksSoHar_fml 9
YDI. If the kid doesn't like it, you know he doesn't like it, then WTF were you thinking by doing it anyway? People like you make me sick.
jojocircus19 16
Your nephew is awesome. He deserves a high-five.
unholyswiss 19
**** you and everyone who shares the 'I know this person doesn't like this/that so I'll do it anyway to be a fuckface and complain about the consequences' feeling. He was right to punch you and has bigger balls than you probably ever will too.
cheyluvsturtles 30
the little kid sounds a little unsupervised and he needs to be taught that there are a lot of things in life we don't like but that doesn't mean that you punch someone!!!!
memestasquaper 10
Is he Russian?
Szaszaspasz 26
His body...his rules
lucasj23 11
of course you deserved it you idiot. you know he doesn't like it and you did it anyway.