Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles....

fartypeepee 18 July 2009, 10:48 Australia 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML

137 comments

Collection

Thanksgiving

Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.

Same thing different taste

Whyis Dremora 30 September 2018, 22:00 San Marcos, United States

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

20 comments

shat 12 December 2015, 07:14 San Francisco, United States

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

52 comments

jaqlove 2 July 2016, 20:28 Clementon, United States

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

32 comments

Anonymous 8 November 2021, 20:00 New Zealand

Night visitor

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

5 comments

Anonymous 4 May 2020, 23:00

Fear factor

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

5 comments

DisgustinglyFrustrated 10 October 2013, 15:40 Rosario, Argentina 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

148 comments

no name 22 February 2011, 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

186 comments

GnarCarBar 12 September 2011, 23:03 United States

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

75 comments

all5fingers 8 September 2011, 05:23 Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

85 comments

lingadoo 7 December 2012, 05:46 Kuwait, Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML