Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my girlfriend's cat adores me. I can't sit down without her jumping on my lap and purring. The cat is also overweight, with very sharp claws, and likes to knead on my legs. My legs look like I lost a fight with a thorn bush. FML
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a paw slap, then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML
Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML
Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I had to explain to another person that my cat is not morbidly obese, he just looks really fat when he lays down. FML
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Top comments
Mauskau 36
My cat refuses to sit on my lap, but he climbs on my mum's stomach and chest and sits on them because she's fat lol.
yessy729 0
Am I the only one that read 'pussy' first?
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Comments (134)
petshark 4
most cats are selfish divas. Cat way or no way
CuriousAlien 7
You should be proud that you lost weight! Don't let an independent animal tear you down! But if you are that worried about getting your cat back, then stuff a pillow under your shirt and try to look fat I guess. Anyway, your pet is just jealous of your sexy body. :)
natluna79 5
It was nice and fluffy like a pillow
fudgeimout 2
Your cat is a chubby chaser.
AH1Zviper 15
Scrub cat nip on you after a shower for a week, and your cat will come crawling back.
alex540150 9
OP, I think your lost fat found my stomach :/
sweetmama88 6
Omg you can't blame a cat that he hates you . Cats are really loyal pets. maybe your cat had a bad couple of days.
doodlecloud 27
Huh, my cats are the complete opposite. They only sit on skinny people, I think because chubby people are too squidgy and they can't get comfortable..
neurodoc 1
Time to trade the cat for a guy
gregkingsley 4
Your cat's a chubby chaser!