By Anonymous - 21/10/2012 05:59 - United States

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 405
You deserved it 6 044

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Well that was a new one

#26 I'm pretty sure the restaurant Red Lobster isn't a fish either.

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Well that was a new one

Damn OP you must be Bad Luck Brian because your pets don't even want to associate with you.

And totally awesome.

Just to be a dick, I would've bothered him more. Picked him up and say "OMG, you can't be dead. NO!!" and shake him around and what-not. I can imagine the cat would Be thinking "Yeah... This wasn't the best idea -_-".

32 You do know that has nothing to do with luck, right? Maybe he's a dick to his cat.

Cats are assholes anyway.

77 - I thought they were pussies?

To quote Team America World Police: " We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!" Your welcome :)

Damn those evil things!

I kinda read this in that guys voice^

You don't read everything in Herbert's voice?

I double that. Cat are evil.

I know what you're thinking, but don't bury it in the ole' Pet Semetary down the road there. Sometimes dead is better. Or pseudo-dead.

Ha southpark, butters is odd

110 - It's called "Pet Semetary", actually.

Oh dear. South Park has ruined the minds of so many. ... HE MEANT STEPHEN KING.

thats kinda sad, op :(

I'm pretty sure mine does that, too.

Those are 2 of the smartest cats that I've ever heard of.

Says the poster with a Chuck Norris cat for a picture

Who says cats do nothing but sleep all day

My cat runs around meowing all day. If you're lucky enough he'll attack you.

Yeah cause I'd feel so lucky to be attacked by a cat.

7- why is that guy in your pic drying his crack?

82-You should. It's a great honor to be attacked by a cat. It means that the feline sees you as a being with exerting energy to deal with that or it sees you as a prey item.

Are you sure your cat is not an opossum?

Minzzy - "Opossum" refers to marsupials in the Western Hemisphere, which is where OP is from. "Possums" are from the Eastern Hemisphere. Very little bothers me more than people who correct others incorrectly. It makes me want to slap you with a fish.

38- Or slap Minzzy with a Red Lobster.

I thought it was already concluded that Red Lobster isn't a fish. >:[

51 Yes, but it'll hurt more.

just take out a ball of yarn, it'll be fine :)

Or Red Lobster...don't cats like fish?

Just pull out the Meow Mix he'll be singing in no time.

Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty Purr, purr, purr. Little kitty, Nice kitty P urr, purr, purr.

#16, you may have a cookie.

Big bang theory! I hear people sing that all the time..

My mom actually named her cats soft kitty and warm kitty.

Soft Kitty, better than Smelly Cat.