Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend's cat adores me. I can't sit down without her jumping on my lap and purring. The cat is also overweight, with very sharp claws, and likes to knead on my legs. My legs look like I lost a fight with a thorn bush. FML
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a paw slap, then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML
Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML
Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I had to explain to another person that my cat is not morbidly obese, he just looks really fat when he lays down. FML
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Top comments
Mauskau 36
My cat refuses to sit on my lap, but he climbs on my mum's stomach and chest and sits on them because she's fat lol.
yessy729 0
Am I the only one that read 'pussy' first?
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Comments (134)
worldclassrager 41
Make your cat enjoy cuddle time...then he'll be a bit more clingy...I do that with mine...
AngryAmerican 18
That's why you get a dog
kittykat1501 31
He she probably doesn't recognize you.
DoomSkuller 28
Probably doesn't recognize ya without the fat gj losing it though
LegitimateSalmon 12
It's because cats like warmth, and fat people are very warm and comfy