Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I went off-roading with a group of people. I'd been to wearing a $250 hat while my brother was driving at least 60mph in the dirt, it flew off my head. When I returned to go retrieve it, someone had taken it. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, I was walking to my car from my workplace. When I was about 20 feet from my car, a guy who was clearly on drugs yelled at me and stole my keys and car. Right before leaving the parking lot, he hit a stop sign and then yelled that my car was broken and ran off. FML
Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML
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Top comments
Jazz_916 9
some people can be real asshats.....
klorehore 24
stole your hat? Where was your helmet?
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Comments (125)
FrauMueller93 3
"I don't mind that he almost killed me... but he took my FAVOURITE hat! Why God, why?!"
newyorkcityguy 9
Shut the **** up.
mylifebelike1234 6
"That's my hat now, totally my hat"
soapmactavish82 8
Give me his license number I will tell you his address so you can light his car on fire
IIFenix 3
Pretty sure if op is gonna tell someone the plate number its gonna be the police. And I am also pretty sure op doesn't wanna commit a crime himself.
ginawater19 13
Well maybe that's why he stole it.
randome101 12
Where the f* are the witnesses did this happen at night?
Leishaei 0
Fake
simoncat 11
Please tell me you got his license number- I mean even if i'ts imprinted backwards on your midsection. Leaving the scene of an accident is a felony. We'll discuss hat thievery another time.
rinoa_fml 10
Rolling through an intersection as in you didn't stop for the light/sign as legally required? If so, you deserve it.
TaytheHuman 8
so fake.
emeralddragon 1
In hindsight wouldn't it have been safer to stop and look? Personally I don't trust other drivers because some of them forget the safety of others.