Venmo me

By Anonymous - 03/09/2020 14:01

Today, my mother-in-law called to find out how the first week of school went for the kids. She spent most of the call complaining about her husband. I'd like to send her a bill for her trying to use me as a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 218

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Leech

By Anonymous - 04/06/2021 06:01

Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 117

Drama Llama

By Mike - 11/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Burlington

Today, I called my mother to say hi. She spent a whole hour and a half complaining about how I never call her, bawling and calling me "a waste of human flesh." I call her at least once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 131

Clean

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 01:30 - India - Hyderabad

Today, in the entire half-hour since my mother-in-law reached our home, she's inspected and criticised every aspect of our home, despite things being spot clean. And sermoned me non stop on how to "live". My husband still wonders why I don't want her visiting. It"s going to be a long two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 111

Busted

By Anonymous - 31/05/2015 04:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 726

You deserved it 13 100

Misunderstood

By lildale92 - 03/06/2021 10:01 - United States - Elmhurst

Today, I was trying to explain to my mother-in-law how I hated the way my father-in-law talks to me, the tone he uses. She thought I was attacking him and got mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 265

Family Ties

By Anonymous - 26/05/2021 03:59

Today, my future mother-in-law blamed me for the death of her husband because I should have taken him to the ER when she didn't feel like it. She then blamed me for her getting a new boyfriend less than two months later and making her son hate her when she insisted he call the guy "Dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 98

Narcissistic parents strike again

By psychobunnycutie - 06/04/2021 05:00

Today, I got a call from my mom's new husband. It lasted 3 minutes and those 3 minutes were of him telling me how sad I make my mom for just existing, how jealous I make her because I'm living a life she wished she was. Turns out, she told him to call me and say that because I have her blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 112

Respect

By AvocadoPurse - 31/12/2018 16:00

Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 783

You deserved it 292

Parasite

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 04:00

Today, and since we've had our baby, my mother-in-law started coming round more often, then bringing her stuff to stay overnight, then started claiming she lived here, and got hysterical when we told her she doesn’t. I had to pick her up and place her outside while she punched me in the head repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 523

You deserved it 2 989

BMXDude22 12

Thursday 3 September 2020 15:06

That's why I haven't answered a phonecall since 2011

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 3 September 2020 17:07

"The little one just threw up, gotta go, bye!" Problem solved!

Comments

BMXDude22 12

Thursday 3 September 2020 15:06

That's why I haven't answered a phonecall since 2011

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 3 September 2020 17:07

"The little one just threw up, gotta go, bye!" Problem solved!

genuinegoodguy 9

Thursday 3 September 2020 23:48

You did the right thing to listen and try to help. I’m sure she’s grateful.

Amber Barkdull 5

Tuesday 8 September 2020 19:16

Sounds like she needed a friend to talk to.

randybryant799 20

Wednesday 21 July 2021 8:33

Wow. You don't sound very nice. Obviously she needed someone to talk to. It doesn't hurt you to listen.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 351

The Top

Today, after a full year of work getting my house decorated, it was finally finished. I stepped back from the last painted wall to admire it and my neighbour on the other side of the wall, who was doing some decorating of his own, drilled too far and punched his drill bit right through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 131

Today, after learning that "phones are tracking you" and that "Google is spying on you" from some shady website, my son destroyed all our phones and computers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 223

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 209

You deserved it 6 326

So many FMLs happen on birthdays. They should probably be avoided altogether.

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 131

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 872

You deserved it 20 249

Today, I found out that the woman who has been secretly sexting my husband for the last two months is my new co-worker. I have to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 024

You deserved it 977

Same thing different taste

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