Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I went off-roading with a group of people. I'd been to wearing a $250 hat while my brother was driving at least 60mph in the dirt, it flew off my head. When I returned to go retrieve it, someone had taken it. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, I was walking to my car from my workplace. When I was about 20 feet from my car, a guy who was clearly on drugs yelled at me and stole my keys and car. Right before leaving the parking lot, he hit a stop sign and then yelled that my car was broken and ran off. FML
Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jazz_916 9
some people can be real asshats.....
klorehore 24
stole your hat? Where was your helmet?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (125)
WritingUtensil 9
That really sucks but at least you didn't get any major injuries. Well, that's my assumption. Have a better one OP.
perdix 31
After you get bored with GTA, you can always try PTH* *Petty Theft: Hat
cjg146 3
Get a cooler hat, make that asshat jealous
chanellgymnast 17
That asshat probably wouldn't have stolen your hat if you were wearing a helmet...
perdix 31
#18, you are correct, but then you'd better hope that your hometown doesn't have a bunch of pickup truck drivers who are "asshelmets!"
samabomination 19
That probably made a nice dent in your day. Unfortunately you and your bike probably didn't do the same for the asshat's car.
Jjimen1654 9
I guess he just wanted another hat for his ass.
nnnope 26
ugh. what the **** is wrong with some people? I just hope there's /some/ chance you got his license number, and/or a good description of him/the truck, and reported it to police.
Slavgaard 16
Hope you got the plates...so he can add theft to his running the light and the hit and run.
LilyLu7 3
i have a feeling that he hits you on purpose just so he could steal that hat...it's possible..
cuppycakeslove 20
Please tell me you got his license plate numbers
perdix 31
#32, how's that going to help? You can't wear license plate numbers on your head at a bad-ass angle to attract all the ladies.