Great work, son

By firestar772 - 12/06/2013 06:21 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 815
You deserved it 5 469

Same thing different taste

Top comments

rg350dx 29

Seems like a great excuse to leave him there and have a quiet night!


rg350dx 29
Damian95 16

That's such BS. Every time I look for the damn super glue I can't find it...

Solution - take a reciprocating saw and cut out handshaped pieces of the table. (Optional) Use his collegefund to buy them a new table.

Kids rock. Evil genius kids rock harder.

That's it. I found the kid I want to adopt. Do you take PayPal? And can we do express shipping? Training must begin immediately

just pull them off and say next time you might want to rethink your actions

Stupidity level Still Rising in 2013#80%

How is someone a genius, that glues himself to a table? Even of you get to stay most things you can do with friends besides talking requires hands or moving... Or perhaps I was doing the whole friend thing wrong when I was younger... Fact is: glueing yourself somewhere: stupid

avapaige1234 19

Sounds like a reference from Brokenhearted by Carlie Rae Jepsen

I apologize for making a simple joke. I'll get Einstein to think of my next one.

we are burying you because that line been beaten to death. Just like, "that's what she said" and "at least you had sex."

Ah, okay. I hadn't seen it used that much, if at all, and thought it appropriate.

hannahsnyder69 16

I don't understand why everyone's hating on the pun. It's just a suitable joke for the situation

RecklessLove 18

It was a sticky situation but at least you had sex.

Seems like a great excuse to leave him there and have a quiet night!

I'm a little stuck on how to help you there.

slickchrome 11

it sounds like he's someone else's problem now.

Why do they keep super glue where it's easily found?!

Well I would think his friend is similar age. That child's parent should be bitch slapped for leaving the glue accessible. That shit can be serious.

I'd think most kids know how to use superglue by 6, and have some common sense. That or I was raised to be a survivalist.

Most 6 yr olds I know eat glue. Maybe you shouldn't reproduce.

My niece is six and she is definitely not like that. Six year olds are a lot smarter than you think.

Ok so let's let them play with dangerous chemicals that have the potential to bond skin damn near permanently? What if they rub their eye? You going to pour acetone on it? Im sorry but any idiot knows that super glue is not appropriate for a six year old to handle. This should be made obvious by the FML itself. I'm sure the child realized the error of his ways while having his hands removed from the table. You are an idiot who should never be responsible for a child, or you're trolling.

#72 if you're talking to me (if not ignore this) I was replying to the comment stating that most 6 year olds eat glue and saying that I don't know any six year olds that do that and my niece is six. That being said I never said anywhere that I'd let her play with superglue just saying that I don't think many six year olds actually eat glue.

My apologies, my response was intended for #59 and I though your response was from her. That said, I just find it amazing how many commenters feel that "super glue" is perfectly acceptable for a six year old! Nontoxic craft glue, no problem, but super glue is nasty, poisonous stuff even in adult hands it can be dangerous. I'm in NO WAY "Mr. Safety" but holy fack that's nuts thinking this is acceptable.

Why did I get thumbed down? Super glue is NOT appropriate for children and should not be in any place that it can be found by them. Especially not by a 6 year old child that's in a house they don't even live in. And to that dumbass that told me it wasn't the OPs house: no shit! How did you even think I was speaking as if it was the OPs own house???

kids can get into some strange places. at 6 I'm guessing he was tall enough to reach the counter at least. putting things away is good, but some kids are mini ninjas...those little cupboard locks, doorknob and outlet guards? they don't work on everyone. whether they had it on the table or in their room, OP's child should know at that age not to do something like that or else there are consequences for those actions. there is no need for any parent punching.

Why was super glue even easily in his reach is he's only 6 and doesn't want to leave that badly?

perdix 29

Give him a few juice boxes and wait him out. After he pisses his pants, he'll let you pour acetone (nail polish remover) over his hands to free him, and use his allowance for a year to buy them a new kitchen table.

rg350dx 29

What's horrible would be getting someone to dress up as a surgeon come in to the kitchen, examine the child's hands and say that there is no way to remove them from the table other than cutting his hands off. Then fake a scene where OP begs the "surgeon" if there's any other way possible to get his hands unglued, come up with some secret, experimental chemical (aka acetone) to remove the glue. Then pour the acetone over his hands saying this night melt the flesh from your bones but at least there's a chance you'll have your hands still. Then when it's all said and done, say that chemical was never to be recreated again and the next time he glued his hands to anything he would get them cut off. That's horrible.

perdix 29

#14, yes, but when you are dealing with a manipulative little bastard, you have to go extreme to put them back in line. When you have kids, you'll get it.

12 and 20 - No offense, but it sounds like you two may very possibly be two of the worst parents possible. Its okay though, because nerds on the internet have a very low reproduction rate.

perdix 29

#24, no, dumbass, I am a great dad. When you have a kid who turns out nearly as well as my daughter, come back and talk to me. Til then, carry on with your macho bullshit and STFU.

29 - Yes, I'm sensing a douchebag right now actually.

36 - Having a moment of self discovery, are you? Because, really, only douchebags say "no offense" before saying something blatantly offensive.

fareith: weren't you the one that commented one one post from yesterday saying the Internet is terrible...? if you think it's so terrible then leave. no one really wants to hear a douche like you complain. you should be able to expect stuff like that. and perdix was joking anyways. take a joke goddammit

45 - Nah, I love Perdixs comments. I just had a bet with my friend to see how many people I could piss off in 30 minutes. Just won $100!

rg350dx 29

Maybe you can put that 100 towards a real bow or archery lessons, because that's nowhere close to being proper shooting form.

perdix 29

#49, so, are you going to sprinkle some sugar on those of us who helped you win your bet?

51 - That is not my bow, that was my childhood bow. I was forced to take that picture for a Physics project. I have a real bow for hunting... And Perdix, give me a PayPal address and I'll send you some of it!

perdix 29

#67, thank you, your kind offer is payment enough. :D

that's awesome! I'd be willing to bet he would never act out again after that.