Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML
Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML
Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML
Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML
Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML
Today, my idiot of a boss yelled at me because it's physically impossible for me to be in two places at the same time, and that I'm not a magician. He didn't understand that. FML
Today, after telling my boss about my hearing problem, she simply told me to "listen harder". FML
Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
astoryofroses 9
Sympathize with him! maybe he'll give you a raise for that?
platypus546 24
Just, remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving..... Always look on the bright side of life!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
seanoc69 7
Must not have been a 'short' conversation
killdozer1 2
Awesome picture!
platypus546 24
Just, remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving..... Always look on the bright side of life!
EvilTwerp 12
Your mom is standing on evolution, you fucktard.
EyesofStone 27
That was rather uncalled for, 7.
DontModMeDammit 10
Tell your boss there is such thing as male enhancement pills.
iNewKid 20
Why do you have to listen to this? Because he is your boss? He keeps you from your work and when you'd be having a conversation like that he would not be happy with it. They like to play with the power. But still, to shut him up. Buy some pills for his problem. You have treatment for that. ;)
chocol8m 6
They have great mileage... If u kno what I mean (;
JoeRogansBEARD 15
YDI for growing so fast
KRS_13 0
Dang I missed what #7 said..
Quidikic 9
And don't forget the universe is expanding at an extreme rate. Individual atoms and atom formations aren't though. He should hire some shorter employees.
kewlkate 9
All I can think about is that I hope your boss doesn't read FML's, OP. That might turn out badly of he does.
CaptTeemo 10
I hate not being able to read moderated comments. I feel like I'm missing something.
AKGirlinSD 20
2, I agree with you. Furthermore, she could gave drowned him out, in her head, and think of other things to herself. That's what I always did when listening to mundane rambling lol.
Feared 9
Evolution doesn't exist
bob7up 5
What did he/she say? ( 7 )
inky_bb 1
Well that was a dull read!
kikiwi_fml 9
That conversation actually sounds like it could have been interesting.
inky_bb 1
Yeah right. We all have to nod and smile along to our bosses.
Jumpingmal2 7
Oh i'm sorry 3 do we need to make it more interesting for you? How bout while the boss is talking OP gets his wallet stolen by a co-worker? Or While the boss is talking he tries to kiss OP and when OP rejects him/her OP gets fired? There you happy? Jeez i actually found the FML pretty funny
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
^ hey buddy, No one was talking to you so just calm the **** down.
astoryofroses 9
Sympathize with him! maybe he'll give you a raise for that?
skoob1 12
I sympathized for him, that is when I read it as 'everything in the world is getting bigger except for me.' for some reason, I didn't take it as height. ..
cathyfang1533 12
Get him heels, they'll add height AND style to his daily wardrobe...but they'll also probably get you fired as well and you may end up homeless...
killdozer1 2
Actually, only objects as large as clusters and superclusters are moving apart as a result of the big bang. Closer objects are held together by gravity.
TrentF13 12
Just remember that you get paid for it.
PYLrulz 17
Sounds like more FML's from the Dilbert World. Pointy Haired Bosses can be a bitch to listen and deal with
ohwellwhyme 2
Sounds like a smart man.
the_enigma1019 1
Oh god, it's happening sooner than I thought, prepare, the end of the world is upon us!
marmlr339 14
^ ^ God I hate comments like that ^ ^
therealslim 15
Was is really necessary for that many ^s?
TheGreatCompo 11
It's a smiley. Of sorts.
Dadothy 8
It takes a small man to complain about something like that...
zachlibby 4
Nod and agree, easy way to make money.