Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML
Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML
Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML
Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML
Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML
Today, my idiot of a boss yelled at me because it's physically impossible for me to be in two places at the same time, and that I'm not a magician. He didn't understand that. FML
Today, after telling my boss about my hearing problem, she simply told me to "listen harder". FML
Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML
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Top comments
astoryofroses 9
Sympathize with him! maybe he'll give you a raise for that?
platypus546 24
Just, remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving..... Always look on the bright side of life!
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Comments (84)
Jumpingmal2 7
Well nowadays with all the fast food restaurants and lazy Americans, people are getting bigger, thus we build bigger things So in a way he is correct.
ihaveFMLfeverr 5
Just act like you care, he might even give you a raise!
missunderstanded 5
every once in a while just nod your head saying "yup" "oh really" "tell me About it" " no sir, I'm sure your big where it counts"
ohwellwhyme 2
Vote for Pedro
laden_swallow09 35
I fail to see how Napoleon Dynamite bears any relevance to this FML.
ohwellwhyme 2
Fornicating snail lesbos.
PrettyKookieToo 8
You weren't really forced to. Your need to please your boss is your own choice.
angela3825 1
Unless u want to get fired...
Ajwc101 24
Wow that really sucks sorry to hear OP! Look on the brightside
Hiimhaileypotter 53
...which is? Don't leave us hanging!
Jumpingmal2 7
It could've been a more boring subject?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Amazing how someone like this could become your boss.
Jewbenita 0
The skilled people that get so high in the work pyramid never ceases to amaze me.
jm3dici 0
These fml's just keep getting more and more stupid
Sinkhole 26
You could have just said that you know what he means, and a raise could help lift you up.