Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML
Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML
Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML
Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML
Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML
Today, my idiot of a boss yelled at me because it's physically impossible for me to be in two places at the same time, and that I'm not a magician. He didn't understand that. FML
Today, after telling my boss about my hearing problem, she simply told me to "listen harder". FML
Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML
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Top comments
astoryofroses 9
Sympathize with him! maybe he'll give you a raise for that?
platypus546 24
Just, remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving..... Always look on the bright side of life!
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Comments (84)
The_Tool1 13
Even midgets need love too.
A7X_LoVeee 10
I've heard that they don't like to be called midgets.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
*Little People*
borkchop1992 15
You should have said some joke about the size of his penis that i cant come up with
skullofdarkness 18
Why not? You running short on them?
borkchop1992 15
I see what you did there
cathyfang1533 12
I may be short, but it isn't my legs holding me up ;)
Gondile 4
... Do you pogostick with your dick?
TrippingOnAcid 29
What's so bad about that?
emeraldisle 30
That's usually what happens when I listen to my boss talk as well.
lonkite101 14
Like a boss
shawnaishere 14
Maybe you would get closer to him if you played your cards right by saying " I feel the same way!"
MarisaCB 16
Time for a fake emergency phone call.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Men of his stature are in...'short' supply! ;)
drawfromthewell 6
Look at it this way: You've got a job! No biggie if you have to sit through the odd conversation here and there. :)
brandon3747 16
Tell him to Act his age