Kids: Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our...

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 02:13 - United States - Herndon

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 976

You deserved it 9 424

Kids

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amburrjade 28

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:40

It's begun. Welcome to 20+ years of Dad Jokes.

iipinkette 16

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:41

He has passed the dad jokes test, he's ready.

amburrjade 28

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:40

It's begun. Welcome to 20+ years of Dad Jokes.

Anti_Sora 31

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 13:54

*full life of Dad Jokes.

iipinkette 16

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:41

He has passed the dad jokes test, he's ready.

Awahso 25

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:41

Congratulations! Eh, he already has "Dad humor" locked down. Prepare for 18 years of terrible jokes and puns.

pedopears 18

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:43

Once you passed the Dad humor test, it will stay until death takes them apart.

amileah13 26

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:41

Aww, I think that's adorable. Congrats you two!

Tripartita 44

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:43

Oh, God, I just realized that's the type of joke I'd make. I need to… I need to rethink some things… or become a father.

gamermonster 34

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:57

I suggest the second :p

Anubis95_fml 10

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:44

Well you can be rest assured he will make a great father.

WinterChild 20

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:46

Just wait till he reaches the grandfather jokes level.

zach205 24

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Thursday 19 November 2015 1:37

Grandfather jokes, aka dad jokes^2

dtdrpepperguy 14

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:49

So it begins....

Earths_Venus 25

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:53

KEEP HIM! That's hilarious!

darkmatou_fml 19

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Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:57

He was ready ! Congratulations ~

Nearly

Today, my birthday is approaching, and I'm once again brooding over the fact that I was a preemie. Had I not been born more than a month early, I would have a birthday in late January, one that doesn't get overshadowed by Christmas. Instead, I got placed right in the middle of December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 31

Today, I struck out with two potential girlfriends, and then found out Jason David Frank died. I grew up with Power Rangers. Both types of heartbreak on one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 45

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was eating me out and I was so close to orgasm, but he suddenly stopped because his phone notified him of the football scores. He only stopped for a few seconds to check but the moment was ruined, and even though he got right back down there it just wasn’t happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 139

Today, while talking to my close female friend whose roommate I have a crush on, I learned that my crush shaves her bikini area into a heart shape. I also learned that my crush is apparently also asexual, so I have no chance with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 176

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