Kids: Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our...

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 02:13 - United States - Herndon

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 006

You deserved it 9 440

Kids

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 037

You deserved it 6 129

Congrats!

By sodonewiththis89 - 10/02/2021 13:59

Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 73

Think of the environment

By Anonyname - 18/05/2014 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 874

You deserved it 10 562

By Crash44 - 08/07/2019 02:03

Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 995

You deserved it 245

By Anonymous - 15/06/2013 04:28 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 580

You deserved it 4 251

By Quiteannoyed - 09/03/2013 10:35 - Finland

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 217

You deserved it 2 894

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 608

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 17:44 - Netherlands - Haarlem

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 012

You deserved it 5 258

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Akron

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 792

You deserved it 78 970

By wifeofafainter - 24/09/2015 06:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 406

You deserved it 3 068

amburrjade 28

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:40

It's begun. Welcome to 20+ years of Dad Jokes.

iipinkette 16

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:41

He has passed the dad jokes test, he's ready.

Comments

amburrjade 28

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:40

It's begun. Welcome to 20+ years of Dad Jokes.

Anti_Sora 31

Wednesday 18 November 2015 13:54

*full life of Dad Jokes.

iipinkette 16

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:41

He has passed the dad jokes test, he's ready.

Awahso 25

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:41

Congratulations! Eh, he already has "Dad humor" locked down. Prepare for 18 years of terrible jokes and puns.

pedopears 18

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:43

Once you passed the Dad humor test, it will stay until death takes them apart.

amileah13 26

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:41

Aww, I think that's adorable. Congrats you two!

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:43

Oh, God, I just realized that's the type of joke I'd make. I need to… I need to rethink some things… or become a father.

gamermonster 34

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:57

I suggest the second :p

Anubis95_fml 10

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:44

Well you can be rest assured he will make a great father.

WinterChild 20

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:46

Just wait till he reaches the grandfather jokes level.

zach205 24

Thursday 19 November 2015 1:37

Grandfather jokes, aka dad jokes^2

dtdrpepperguy 14

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:49

So it begins....

Earths_Venus 25

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:53

KEEP HIM! That's hilarious!

darkmatou_fml 19

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:57

He was ready ! Congratulations ~

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 231

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I agree, your life sucks 35 619

You deserved it 3 188

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I agree, your life sucks 11 843

You deserved it 737

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I agree, your life sucks 6 464

You deserved it 470

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I agree, your life sucks 8 538

You deserved it 565

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 440

You deserved it 3 031

Today, I simultaneously learned that fracturing your penis is a thing that can happen while my wife fractured mine in the middle of some rough reverse cowgirl. My penis is now black and blue with an almost 90 degree bend, and to make it worse the ambulance guys thought it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 269

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 679

You deserved it 6 019

Same thing different taste

Congrats!

Think of the environment

Planned parenthood

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