Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML
Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML
Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML
Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML
Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML
Today, my idiot of a boss yelled at me because it's physically impossible for me to be in two places at the same time, and that I'm not a magician. He didn't understand that. FML
Today, after telling my boss about my hearing problem, she simply told me to "listen harder". FML
Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
astoryofroses 9
Sympathize with him! maybe he'll give you a raise for that?
platypus546 24
Just, remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving..... Always look on the bright side of life!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
zandalee 20
I'm all for philosophy, but this guy sounds a bit deluded. Enlighten him. He's obviously chosen you to have this discussion because he thinks you have something intelligent to offer. Either that or quietly slip into a coma mid conversation. Works for me...
sicksadworld1317 30
Wow. Much worse things have happened. Much more hilarious things have happened. How did this end up on FML?
bergtrain21 0
I remember when FML's weren't just a bunch of people complaining about their jona
Lemon_Lime888 0
Maybe you should buy him a nice pair of heels! (;
thebluepudding 6
Always smile and nod ;)
love1026 6
this is stupid. no one cares
LuckyLynx7732 5
Start putting his stuff on the top shelves and hide his step ladder.
kittykat1501 31
You should be more supportive! Ydi!