Intimacy: Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This...

By pride? what's that? :( - 01/09/2012 00:23 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 800

You deserved it 40 462

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Same thing different taste

By nazirah4shizzle - 15/05/2015 19:54 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 396

You deserved it 3 484

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 941

You deserved it 5 819

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 920

You deserved it 50 969

By Redhairchick - 06/11/2016 07:08

Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 056

You deserved it 928

Take it easy

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 16:01

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 1 805

By Anonymous - 26/07/2019 20:00

Today, I got home after a night of drinking with my coworker. We hooked up, but he was so drunk he had to use a flashlight to put it in. Then, he ran out of the room to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 752

You deserved it 888

By ERnightmare - 02/08/2018 21:00 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 114

You deserved it 4 253

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 806

You deserved it 3 068

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 12:00

Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 2 168

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 509

You deserved it 2 885

UnluckyIrishKid 9

Saturday 1 September 2012 5:06

Was the doctor atleast anal about the proceure? All pieces removed?

eggmarie 25

Saturday 1 September 2012 5:11

I'm not even thinking about the hospital trip. I'm trying to figure out how the ride there went.

Comments

VooDooCarrie91 19

Saturday 1 September 2012 14:03

I'd like to know how you drove yourself to the hospital...that would be an uncomfortable drive

philzilla 1

Saturday 1 September 2012 14:32

Say what?

zazzles23 5

Saturday 1 September 2012 14:54

I'm sorry to hear that, but why would you tell people this??

baby_shaker9000 5

Saturday 1 September 2012 15:02

A very uncomfortable car ride that was.

JonniBoyy 2

Saturday 1 September 2012 15:54

Wow really. Why would anyone want to know that. I think you need to get out more often.

m3lyc 18

Saturday 1 September 2012 16:06

"Today I was feeling depressed and got drunk". Well alcohol will only make your depression worse, that's what it does. That's why so many people are depressed all the time; because they go out on the weekends and drink till they drop. I don't, which results in me being happy most of the time.

cherryllollo 7

Saturday 1 September 2012 16:33

Aww. Shitty.

drunkonduty247 1

Saturday 1 September 2012 16:57

If your a chick, that's awesome.

Missus1 7

Saturday 1 September 2012 17:10

Next time you're feeling "desperate" try to refrain from activities most couples don't even participate in silly.

GUNN1313 3

Sunday 2 September 2012 10:24

I am so glad that you can Speak for most couples my wife likes it and well I love making her happy. Further more most of the relationships I have been in had anal in them and if done right is pleasurable for both participants. Op the next time just give me a call we can all have fun and no Er trips

hornyunicorny 2

Saturday 1 September 2012 17:49

Ok people, when putting things in your asshole, if it's not flared at the end, your ass will literally suck it up inside your body.. Totally disgusting but true! Use flared toys or a tight grip on your special ***** so you don't lose it!

Ray_of_midnight 22

Sunday 2 September 2012 1:05

Came here to say exactly this...any toy you put up there needs to have a flared base to avoid the risk of getting lost! Don't trust your grip, either...if you're using lots of lube--as you should when inserting anything anally--you're putting enough lube on it to make it very slippery and potentially lose your grip on the toy.