By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 802
You deserved it 3 065

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sunako_fml 9

You boyfriend is an idiot for assuming like that..

That's pretty bad for him to assume something like that.


That's pretty bad for him to assume something like that.

Her boyfriend sounds like he might be the guilty one

Well idk? I'm still having trouble understanding the fml. I mean, girls don't poop so how could they be constipated? With that in mind, anal cheating is the only other obvious answer.

olpally 32

He should never assume anything or be judgmental about someone he loves or anyone for that matter... Your bf is an ass op... :/

Oh my god.... I hope ur trying to be funny. But it's not, anyways.

I swear... Some people are just this stupid

We don't poop. We are delicate little things that would never omit gases or anything ghastly like that. Lighten up guys!!

27- Hahaha! That was awesome, made my day!

IQWasJustLowered 0

look on the bright side, you didn't die from dehydration.

jim_bolicious 4

Girls bum-holes are just another hole/decoration

cajekraze 7

you need to get rid of this guy, OP. Insecurity is poisonous and hurtful. Don't allow it in your life, especially when you're already in pain. This is just the start. Next he'll call you a ***** for talking to a male cousin. Get away before it gets worse

1, I agree with you. I have gastroparesis so I can go over 10 days without having a bowel movement. When the time comes, the pain is out of this world. Doctors compare it to a woman being in labor because the muscles are torn from pushing so hard and the anus gets cut to pieces. Original poster's boyfriend is a complete jerk. I hope she found someone to take her because the pain is out of this world!

#203: Do laxatives, st'l softeners, or prunes help?

#203 Part Deux:Oops! Just read up on it via WebMD. And I thought my dad's ulcerative colitis was bad....

Sunako_fml 9

You boyfriend is an idiot for assuming like that..

Well we all know what happens when people assume.

Just out of curiosity, I wonder what OP was going to expect the hospital to do.... I wouldn't think they could do a whole lot as she's going to the bathroom.

They could give her some sort of stool softener to make it easier for future issues as well has give her medication to even prevent constipation before she would ever need a stool softener. Sometimes prescription meds are better the over the counter

It's called laxatives. Sorry they taste like shit but it helps your shit in a very good way

littlesister67 0

That's what I learned. And yes, women do poop, and we also flatulate. We just chose not to be neanderthals about it.

If/when my boyfriend sees me in pain, he takes me to the ER, no matter what the cause. Original poster's boyfriend should have cared about her pain being controlled opposed to assuming she's cheating in him. I hope he's the ex now.

#138 & #142: St'l softeners & laxatives work on the intestines, but the cause of this medical condition is failure of the stomach to periodically empty its contents; thus, these meds won't work in this instance. See WebMD.

#108, #138, & #142: The treatment is called Fecal Impaction Removal. The newbies on the TV show ER - and med students et. al. in real-life as part of their education & training - were ordered to perform that (out of camera view). OP may also need stitches afterwards. :-(

icadragoon 11

Please tell me you're not planing on staying with him, or having children with him.

perdix 29

Those would be some pretty shitty kids.

62- got to hate it when the baby comes out the wrong end.

88- that's what happens when you have buttsex. Right?

3- she should stay with him until the next time he's constipated. Like to see him talk his way out of that one!

62- Randy Marsh knows all about it. Bono, too.

She's already given birth to her first over due food baby...

Trust is a good thing. You gotta sit him down and talk to him. After going to the hospital of course.

Nope I don't think so. This guy is such an idiot and a bastard he is beyond redemption. Ring a friend or family member and get away from this prick as fast as you can!

Doubt she'll be sitting any time soon!

Drew167 8

That's pretty ****** up if he'd just assume you would have anal with another guy.

Anal is just pretty ****** up in general..

Damn you're hella hott! And I don't usually say stuff like that !

We know where your junk is buddy. Shirt shirt shirt!!

86 - thanks for that! Needed a damn good giggle!

Assuming idiotic stuff like that is just douchebaggy of him... Just like not wearing a shirt and taking a picture of yourself in the mirror.

Hey if people got it they can flaunt it! I wish I knew how to message this guy ;) But in all seriousness op has a douche obviously insecure boyfriend. Sorry op:(

#202: Either click on the link "Send a private message" here next to his profile pix or do so after you click his profile pix or username. Else note his username and then search for it on your own profile pg via the "Search for a member" link.

You should've left that 'present' in his drivers seat. Your boyfriend is a scumbag, FYI.

queen_awks 16

Ewww! I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of you!

*crystal ball with hands waving over it* I see in the future... A downvote of a failed comment

He sounds like a loser. If you have no faith in your partner then you don't need to be together. I feel bad for you and hope you have a friend to call to drive you to the ER.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Some partners deserve no faith. Not all but some. But I'd think if my girl was crying from a deuce that big, anal sex would definitely not be the first thought on my mind. I don't think it'd cause a weeks worth of build up..that makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Thank you, 39! I'm glad you can realize a week's worth of build up is extremely painful and uncomfortable.

Did he think you had sex with Andrey the Giant? A weeks worth of shit in one go would certainly look like it. Jokes aside. If your boyfriend can't trust you like that, then it must be a very controlled relationship :/

olpally 32

I was in one of those controlled relationships... :/ I was miserable... I'm glad I'm single now... Fyl op... You deserve to be treated better than that...