Miscellaneous: Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject...

By itstillhurts - 21/12/2009 04:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 568

You deserved it 35 759

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/09/2012 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 474

You deserved it 4 442

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 858

You deserved it 55 526

You're nicked

By DrunkenValor - 06/09/2009 04:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 305

You deserved it 3 466

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 8 845

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 02:49 - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 151

You deserved it 41 745

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 202

You deserved it 590

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 316

You deserved it 1 904

By AntSimo - 19/05/2009 07:46 - South Africa

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 661

You deserved it 2 968

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 704

You deserved it 13 782

By haappynewyear - 01/01/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 000

You deserved it 6 096

mhm_megann 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:10

i woleheartedly enjoyed how english that fml was!

xd0rkiee 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:07

Why would you even think that? Yes, pieces of glass flying onto you and cutting your face TOTALLY does not hurt.

Comments

Flamersplamer 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:06

YDI for being an idiot

brutallyhonest24 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:27

he probably didnt deserve glass being smashed over his head, but he did deserve somthing for thinking that a glass smashed over his head wouldnt hurt that much

crazytoaster 2

Tuesday 22 December 2009 3:18

Being glassed doesn't hurt that much...

Dante_Nakura 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 9:54

It really DOESN'T hurt. My friend and I were dancing like idiots on the dance floor just fooling around. I drank some of my beer and he pulled some kind of mind-blowing dance move while accidentally smashing the pint glass all over my face with my elbow. Other than going to the bathroom to clean the blood off my face from the small cut between my eyes I was fine. It was actually quite epic, the largest piece of glass left was the base, the rest was shattered. With my face. Yay.

flying_vegan 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 14:05

Also, it hurts less if you get hit by a full beer bottle than an empty one because although the bottle is heavier, the liquid tends to cushion the impact of any shards, reducing the risk of lacerations.

ScaughtieHolden 11

Thursday 29 December 2011 5:07

This was totally from The Departed. "What are you on your period?"

ExtremeEncounter 32

Monday 16 March 2015 21:43

He deserved glass being shoved into his skull? You've got problems #1

xd0rkiee 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:07

Why would you even think that? Yes, pieces of glass flying onto you and cutting your face TOTALLY does not hurt.

tizzwang 0

Monday 29 November 2010 15:21

Yeah I know right, it's not like you could get blinded or anything.

ironwords 8

Thursday 7 April 2011 5:02

consider the fact that most bar fights are drunk ones

mhm_megann 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:10

i woleheartedly enjoyed how english that fml was!

giiiiinge 0

Monday 21 December 2009 10:51

woleheartedly? ha!

Erniesduck123 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:27

Wholeheartedly. I'm lost for words.

supertacowaffle 41

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:41

Proud to be British

BREADEDELF 3

Monday 21 December 2009 9:21

YDI for being British

IndieSinger 0

Monday 21 December 2009 10:08

FYL for being ignorant.

whatwasthatnoise 0

Monday 21 December 2009 15:43

at #4, whats wrong with the british?

cyberhoy 3

Monday 21 December 2009 22:39

Bad teeth. Inflated sense of entitlement. Snobby.

capgray 0

Monday 15 March 2010 5:49

cyberhoy totally has his head on straight. i say: ydi for bein british AND fyl for bein british. so this is a lose lose situation. sorry op. but not really

shadowkiss13 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:43

ya that sucks that ur a dumbass ):

mad_molly 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:54

haha, I don't see what is so british about this except maybe the word "pint" at a stretch!

flying_vegan 0

Monday 21 December 2009 10:10

"Down the pub with a mate", Americans would say "at the bar with a friend"

johnny_doe 0

Monday 21 December 2009 10:09

The word "glassed". Nobody says "glassed" except the British, probably because people in other nations do stuff like OP's friend less.

Mitteny 0

Monday 21 December 2009 10:21

People say "glassed" in Australia, but it usually refers to someone smashing a glass or bottle and holding the remaining base while they stab out with the rest.