By Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML
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  sublimaze  |  6

Large glass doors & bars do not mix. One day the bar owner will discover this the hard way when someone collapses into the glass and severs an artery.

  itsharkley  |  8

If you successfully did a moonwalk, he would know you're not wasted.
"Alright, walk in a straight line, then."