Miscellaneous: Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she... - FML

By lemongrab - 18/05/2014 14:14 - Canada

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 894

You deserved it 4 245

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Dysfunctional

By noodlesandmilk - 13/12/2015 14:10 - Australia - Canberra

Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 000

You deserved it 1 827

By Anonymous - 17/11/2016 01:29

Today, I am starting a new job. Only problem is, I haven't been told what my duties are, who my line manager is or who to ask if I need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 689

You deserved it 908

By pantless - 21/03/2016 18:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was written up for being late to work. I was late because somebody in my dorm stole my pants. All of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 412

You deserved it 1 245

By sopissed - 13/06/2012 18:13 - United States - Laurel

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 3 607

By Hellish - 21/10/2016 04:11 - United States - Gurnee

Today, I started a new job that was highly recommended by a worker there. The same coworker that is now making my life a living hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 670

You deserved it 807

Mixing it up

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 774

You deserved it 48 723

By yova - 27/03/2016 08:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom called me a slut after she found out I sleep naked. This is how desperate she is for any excuse to yell at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 959

You deserved it 1 848

By imarriedanaxemurderer - 18/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Joliet

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 461

You deserved it 4 609

By jenny2989 - 07/06/2012 00:50 - United States

Today, I reached behind my couch to plug my phone charger in. My arm got stuck and I had to wait for my roommate to get home to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 814

You deserved it 17 981

By Stephanie - 14/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 524

You deserved it 60 100

By whattheshit - 26/11/2009 14:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 125

You deserved it 2 356

By ShamedJP - 03/04/2009 22:05 - United States

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 205

You deserved it 86 324

By Anonymous - 31/07/2010 15:03 - United States

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 476

You deserved it 3 727

By Sash - 06/04/2012 21:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 593

You deserved it 38 221

Stressed out

By annaT00many - 14/07/2021 14:00

Today, I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant. I have to go in weekly for stress tests. Last night, I had a very stressful dream about leaving my 4-year-old at home alone, which stressed me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 128

By RiceCrispyTreats - 01/09/2015 16:46 - United States - Pelham

Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 834

You deserved it 28 284

By nehadrihan - 21/03/2014 03:04 - United States - Oceanside

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 032

You deserved it 3 367

By oink oink fuck off - 29/07/2012 18:49 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 863

You deserved it 3 696

By Anonymous - 03/12/2018 16:00 - United States - Great Barrington

Spicy

Today, it's my birthday. My husband hasn't slept with me in months. I am so humiliated every time I try to be intimate with him because I am only ever turned down. Tonight, he rubbed my leg and got mad when I fixed myself so I wouldn't be turned on. Apparently tonight was the night but I moved and ruined it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 134

You deserved it 527

By Nogood - 10/03/2013 09:09 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 082

You deserved it 2 998

By Anonymous - 19/12/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 018

You deserved it 3 311

By pmek - 26/03/2012 09:11 - Australia - Collingwood

Spicy

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 345

You deserved it 3 252

By kinky - 05/08/2010 00:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 561

You deserved it 37 874

By Sleepless Dreams - 29/11/2016 04:42 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 035

You deserved it 680

Your cat, your problem

By Ihatemydissapointmentofasister - 15/06/2021 14:01

Today, on our anniversary, my sister bitched me out and made a passive aggressive Facebook post on our page, all because my fiancé didn't want to clean her cat puke on the floor downstairs when she was literally right next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 73

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 616

You deserved it 41 406

By poophead - 30/05/2015 02:39 - Philippines

Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 697

You deserved it 2 539

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 18:57 - United States

Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 899

You deserved it 31 159

By Myboyfriendisaromanticslob - 10/03/2011 05:09 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 340

You deserved it 6 450

By dileigh - 10/03/2009 18:37 - United States

Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. My have two older sisters also graduated. The first one got a Tiffany's bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 136

You deserved it 3 614

By fmypaint - 14/10/2009 09:31 - United States

Today, I was vigorously putting primer on my canvas for a beginning painting class. I accidentally sprayed specks of primer on the very dark painting to the right of mine. The painter is in an advanced class. She's been working on this one all semester. There's no one to her right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 570

You deserved it 35 218

By Jack.mercado - 19/03/2016 16:58 - United States

Today, being the new driver I am, I was trying to keep my speed at posted because I know that cops will target me. I ended up getting pulled over for my too-low speed and given a ticket because I was holding up a line of cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 560

You deserved it 12 183

By -_- - 15/03/2016 01:46 - United States - Inverness

Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 686

You deserved it 1 770

By failbaby - 02/06/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 489

You deserved it 24 159

By quarterback - 23/01/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 071

You deserved it 44 508

By buttuglyforeveralone :( - 05/07/2013 21:37 - United Kingdom - Treharris

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 434

You deserved it 3 480

By GAGirl1 - 01/05/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 978

You deserved it 7 201

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 08:04 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had my daughter babysit her 2-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 523

You deserved it 2 894

By jojolee68 - 28/02/2015 19:53 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 831

You deserved it 2 786

By Scarlett_Pixie - 24/12/2016 09:46 - Australia - Toowoomba

Today, my partner convinced both of our little brothers that we are naming our son Obi-Wan. They now won't stop rubbing my belly and quoting Star Wars. This is going to be one long Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 456

You deserved it 1 055

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:13

Just be like " imma be back in a minute to fix it" and just leave with it. It's a win- win.

Quackadoodledoo 13

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:13

She must have a problem with her memory. RAM it back in her face.

Comments

CrikOgresmasher 19

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:12

Should've taken it and had it fixed yourself

AnonymousFunFMLs 18

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:16

Yeah because this guy probably knows how to fix a computer... I think if he "fixed" the computer for the lady he would probably get in real trouble.

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:22

but if she just gave it to him and walked away she wouldn't know who he was. so how could anyone track him down?

AnonymousFunFMLs 18

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:23

Oops... Pretend I said girl

garrett_8614 14

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:39

I bet there wasn't even anything wrong with the laptop. She was probably just stupid

incoherentrmblr 21

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 20:12

Sounds like that Virgin Mobile commercial about getting the IPhone w/ $30 unlimited everything...

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 20:15

Still a free laptop

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 20:36

that's a stupid thing to say

IceCreamm_fml 14

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 20:49

Lol, just take the laptop.

gennyv 29

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 22:21

I think they meant that op should've taken the computer, gone to somebody who could fix it, and then keep it for themselves

feven 32

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 22:26

You shouldn't have felt the need to exlain yourself. Just walk away. It's not like you'll be fired from a place you don't work at.

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 23:19

Clearly she couldn't just "take it". The woman wanted a refund.

Send a private message

Tuesday 10 June 2014 6:51

#50 ikr. The OP seems like a gentleman. If most of the people I know would've been there, they would have yelled the shit outta her in return.

Rectov 10

Send a private message

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:35

Like she was pressing the enter key to turn it on or some shit

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:13

Just be like " imma be back in a minute to fix it" and just leave with it. It's a win- win.

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:32

Just be sure you get her to give you the receipt first.

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 6:22

Not if the lady's complaining that it won't turn on.

inn0centaphid 19

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:13

Take it and ask for a refund at the store

DrownedMyFish 18

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:16

Wouldn't a refund require proof that she purchased it from there?

ironichalibut 24

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 3:35

Yeah, but obviously before they "fix" it for her, they'll need the receipt.

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 7:05

"MY LAPTOP WONT WORK" "Laptop and receipt?" *gives them* "Thanks" THEN WALK AWAY LIKE A BOSS

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 8:03

But didn't she say it won't turn on? What's the point of a broken laptop?

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 14:29

10 and 68, if the lady thought OP worked at the store she would've given them the receipt, had OP asked

Quackadoodledoo 13

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:13

She must have a problem with her memory. RAM it back in her face.

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:37

Its going to be HARD DRIVE to fix it

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 20:00

That was horrible #24

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 20:38

Yea, that pun really bytes.

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 22:27

He must have overclocked his memory. ..

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 2:09

This pun is just on the line of almost being bad. But it doesn't. That's why its so good; probably the best I've seen in a while.

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 2:18

#4's comment TOWERS over the rest.

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 5:15

Solid state drive your fist into her head.

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:14

should of just took it and walked off with it she basically gave it to you even when you told her you didn't work there...free computer

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 4:59

Should have* -_-

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 6:13

I agree!!

goodwithoutgods 20

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:14

You should have asked her if she wanted to see your manager, then take her to another employee and explain to them that she needs help. Problem solved!

BeardedVulture 6

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:14

Should've kept it

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:15

"Shut the fuck up woman! Calm your tits! I don't even work here!"

yeahthatsmeee 10

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:15

Hey, free laptop!

Send a private message

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:16

Customers can be both dumbasses and bastards. One time a customer yelled at me for a good ten minutes because there were Oreo pieces in the brownie of her Oreo Brownie Earthquake. She threatened to sue. -_-

Damned_Architect 25

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 0:20

Really? You should submit that as an FML!

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 1:10

I've never heard of an oreo brownie earthquake, now I feel cheated and sad that I'll probably never try one

Send a private message

Monday 19 May 2014 1:29

62 - Go to Dairy Queen, you'll find it there.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 17

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 83

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 87